A Hugg that holds me

Inclined to pull away
In huggs that rub my back
As if someone died

There is too much pitty stairing at my eyes
She says let me take a picture
For when your gone and I'm alone,
I say if I ever come back you would know this is my home.
I'm swolen with tears
With years of holding every crippling fear in
Of making the best of things
Of fucking,myself free from loving.
I want more now.
More than what whent wrong.
More than looking away
In those moments that should cement us together.

I've concluded ,I only want you to stay.