deepundergroundpoetry.com
Book Of Pain
sleeping awake through night i'm my Book of Pain...
silently screaming i write my lines of Sane Madness...
as i laugh from my leaking tears of Red Sadness...
as only thing keeping my corpse alive is the Death Rain...
so all the Mercilless Monsters can show me their Bitter Kindness...
so all my Sins of Self Sacrifice can slide into the Void of Vain...
inside of my Book of Pain...
PS: i'm putting it to the Miscellaneous category because it's written with intention to make your understading of it saying more about you than about the poem, my own favourite explanation of the poem is that "it's about a soldier going through war" said by - you guessed it - a veteran i had the honor of having this poem read by. Originally it's a poem about me & why i begun writing.
Published 15th Oct 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 7
reads 653
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
15th Oct 2017 8:55pm
I really love the title, it is a creation cilia and sparks.
yet can be taken down any path.
good job
yet can be taken down any path.
good job
15th Oct 2017 10:17pm
Thank you, this one I consider my best work ^^ it's one of few I really like & remember by heart ^^
16th Oct 2017 12:16pm
it indeed
is quite a work.
welcome
to the deep-side community.
work.
extraordinary.
is quite a work.
welcome
to the deep-side community.
work.
extraordinary.
16th Oct 2017 12:22pm
thank you, I just still feel like it could be better tho.... It`s one of the first works I`ve written (and I made quite a few work alike this one), but I still keep changing details in it.... it just doesn't feel good enough.... it doesn't feel complete....
16th Oct 2017 12:27pm
no poet here only advice if at all.. follow the heart till you're satisfied BUT keep the very first version, the original, as-it-descended version of the expression/work safe aside too..obviously for comparison or for the times when you want to revert to the first/original thought. they say a poem is never finished..it progresses with the poet. and rest assured, your work is well above the ordinary.
16th Oct 2017 12:34pm
thank you, i`m afraid i don`t have the first version anymore, but this one is not so far from it.... I mainly change prepositions ect.... no big changes, just details.... as it is my "flag work" I need it to be perfect.... however I will (try to) take your advice on keeping the original version for future works. It does feel like something I don't want to learn the hard way. so again, thank you -mr.rain
12th Feb 2023 2:42am
