Dead Machine inst. by CrypMind

I found out I lost another friend to a heroin OD right around the time I wrote this yesterday (so i didn't know yet that he had passed).  he was a fellow poet.  he was a great person who carried a lot of pain. we stayed together in a sober living house for a couple of months till I went to inpatient rehab because I was still using.  he left behind two young kids along with everyone else who loved him. RIP ash.  
 
going through the motions  
yet i move so slowly  
subtle it may be  
as i reach for the holy  
even God doesn't know me  
I got lost    
i got low  
in the frost  
in the snow  
I pay the cost  
so let me go  
   
i want something different  
but the past has left imprints  
isn't it crazy?  
one day awake  
the next a fake  
to scared to take    
a leap of faith  
to kneel and pray  
i feel i sealed my fate  
   
i wanna start over  
but i just get older  
pinned behind a boulder  
can't keep myself sober  
as death moves closer  
I welcome the closure  
as death moves closer  
I welcome the closure  
   
   
   
♫ inst by CrypMind Beats ♫  
➥ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFah73rosXFBzuH0CcGuTw  
   
Image by h.koppdelaney  
➥ http://www.koppdelaney.de/koppdelaney.de/Willkommen.html