Nothing short

Disgusting, gut wrenching
Self-loathing, self hate will never go away
Dirty piece of shit
Dirty, ground, pig shit
Slop, slut, fucking cunt
to look into those shit colored eyes would most likely make me double over to hurl
face that makes me sick
body no longer touchable
no longer able to be looked at
hands that should be broke
bruised and bloodied like this heart.
ugly inside and out
there's no beauty never was
stupid, arrogant, ignorant
cut till there's nothing left to to cut  
break the bones of this god god awful body that he who does not exist gave you.
puke till you can only gasp for breath but thank fuck it's barely
should have been aborted, swallowed or cleaned up
suicide attempt that should only be suicide
should be no me
shouldn't exist; burn yourself at the stake, pick at your mind
let anxiety eat you alive
depression can have this soul  
it is no longer wanted
pathetic almost adult
abomination
kill it, it shouldn't be here
sit in your shit covered life
It's what you deserve, pig
dry heave until you can no longer breathe
all this pain you hold inside never let it out
remember it the way you never forget how he smiles.