where did you go?

I’m a shadow of the person I used to be
but I think you’ve always been a ghost
an internal suicide decades old
making me nothing more
than a temporary necromancer of love

and I wanted to know you beneath the addictions
I thought I could hold without going under
but I’m one cigarette too late
and you’re one too many beers past being
someone I can talk to

I don’t know who you are
when you slice the space between us to pieces
throw your hands in the air and promise me
you can’t change
reminiscing about the shit old days
when you’d get drunk every night
pass out on your keyboard to porn
and drink drive to work every morning

I’m a shadow of the person I used to be
but I think you’ve always been a ghost
it just took me a year to notice

-Eve-