NURSERY CRIMES 5.7

 
(I). NO DOG
 
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
for batteries for her vibrator.
But when she got there
no batteries were there
she needs another stimulator
 
She went to the Baker's
To show him her pie.
his cock was too small
didn’t satisfy
 
she went to the butchers
To look at his meat
He offered his beefsteak
Too small for a treat
 
She went to the Alehouse
per chance a gang bang.
they’d all drank too much
Their cocks just hanged
 
She went to the Fruiterer's
his banana she peeled
but it was covered in warts  
she’d wait till it healed
 
She went to the Tailor's
To look at his coat.
sneaked in the back room
He was fucking a Goat.
 
She went to the Hatter's
To see his Fedorra.
she showed him her ass
in the hope he would bore her.
 
She went to the Barbers
To bare shave her twat.
pulled it open and wide
he said I'm not shaving that
 
She went to the Cobbler's
To buy kinky boots.
she bared both her breasts
But he couldn’t give two hoots.
 
She went to the Seamstress
to inspect her pussy.
licking her crack  
her pussy got juicy.
 
 
(ii) POTATOES
 
One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes - whore  
Five potatoes, six potatoes, seven potatoes - more  
Eight potatoes, nine potatoes, ten potatoes - get
She crammed them in her pussy for a bet
 
 
(iii) POP GOES THE,…
 
round and round the cobbler's bench
I chased a girl called Kerry
she sucked my cock, then got on top
Pop! goes her cherry
 
Penny was such a cock tease
she’d sucked my brother Terry
I rode her on the cobblers bench
Pop! goes her cherry.
 
Every night when I get home
a different virgin is ready
Take out my cock and ride her hard
Pop! goes their cherry.
 
 
(iv) COME OUT TO PLAY
 
Girls and boys come out to play
no mater if you are straight or gay
Leave your morals, and leave the creeps
join your sex fellows in orgy street.
 
Come with a twat, a dick standing tall
Come feeling horny or not at all
Orgies can be so much fun
up the vagina or up the bum
 
Girls and boys come out to fuck
As long as your penis is not a lame duck
shave your pussy, and wash your twats
and join the orgy aristocrats
 
(v) Not K-I-S-S-I-N-G
 
Donald and Hilary
up against a tree
S-U-C-K-I-N-G  
Donald gets blown  
he starts to holler  
not a bad blow job
for two million dollars
 
Donald and Hilary
up against a tree
F-U-C-K-I-N-G  
Donald comes first  
Hilary comes later  
said she’d rather be fucked
by a swamp alligator