BASTARD FATHER  - - For the ‘Father are you there?’ Comp

 
My father was always there
He did not pretend to care
 
The loving way that parents should
He preferred evil more than good
 
A guilt free crazy psychopath
Would try to drown me in the bath
 
For hours and hours locked in the coal shed
With blood dripping from my mouth, nose and head
 
Putting out cigarettes on my back
The leather belt was used to smack
 
The slapping, the punching, the poking
The kicking, the thumping, the choking
 
Hit me on the hand with a hammer for stealing
Laughed as he did it; no guilt like feeling
 
It was too hard to struggle as he lay on top
His hand down my pants; when I cried for him to stop
 
Then I’d have to suck; to get the poison out
Told I was a healer, it’s what God’s work was all about
 
I learned not to scream, crying not allowed
I had to keep this secret, and keep my head bowed
 
He sold me as a sex slave to members of a church
Their holy reputation was so easily besmirched
 
So much poison to remove in the main with mouth and hand
More secrets I would keep, all resistance was now banned
 
Back at home fatherly love; the rapes had surely stopped
But the torture and beatings without warning I still copped
 
There was no salvation or rescue from my fate
It only served to teach me how to hate
 
I thought I’d solved the problem to the screaming in my head
I had a celebration when he turned up dead
 
With all these flashbacks and the reliving of that pain
He still left his mark; with my mind now insane
 
There is no cure for what I’ve got the past can not be mastered
Despite my hate; his death; I still live with that old bastard