deepundergroundpoetry.com
dying stars
do you feel me?
day after day
year in & out
i've danced in your shadow
on your periphery
silently casting my magic
feel as it escapes me
tenderly ensconing you
you live in my soul
though i will never caress your skin
i taste your presence on the wind
in the poetry you exhale
it gives me breath
to piourette through the charade of life
without you by my side
i linger in past lives
where there was a you & i
like dying stars
are my memories
burning bright
then returns to dust
carried away
by the mundane
i lose myself in another
to cum for your essence
as it kisses my body
then silently departs
& i return to the void
grieving your phantom touch
as another day dies
to wake in the arms of someone else
do you hear my moans?
as your name escapes my lips
Copyright © 2017 Crimsin. All Rights Reserved
Written by
crimsin
(Unveiling)
Published 19th Sep 2017
| Edited 20th Sep 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 17
reading list entries 1
comments 33
reads 950
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. dying stars
Anonymous
19th Sep 2017 6:07pm
Beautiful one, he lives in every poem you write to his spirit, every sigh and every word uttered with him in your mind. You show the beauty that is your love for him. Such a soft yearning, this one. I do so love you
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:37pm
thank you graciously lovely one what a beautiful way of seeing things.. love you lady.. Crim
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:37pm
Re. dying stars
19th Sep 2017 6:37pm
Oh....My Gosh, what a rollercoaster. That took me through my entire high school years of having a love taken away. maybe I got the wrong vibe from this but it can be hard to see someone you once adored now being adored by another. Keep writing, Brenda. What a masterpiece.
~Ghost <3
~Ghost <3
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:39pm
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 7:33pm
I...Am not a lady.. But thank you. It's nice to know someone relates to me. ~ghost
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 7:57pm
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 8:48pm
Re. dying stars
19th Sep 2017 6:48pm
Love the imagery but the bittersweet feeling of love drifting distantly into he past as memories that seem closer than they really are makes me ache inside.
JJ
JJ
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:39pm
Re. dying stars
19th Sep 2017 7:08pm
such splendid strokes of your quill leaves the reader wanting more. What a breathtaking write, Lady Crim!
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:40pm
Re. dying stars
19th Sep 2017 7:22pm
Beautifully written my friend. The sense of longing almost brings me to tears. My favorite lines:
i taste your presence on the wind
in the poetry you exhale
it gives me breath
to piourette through the charade of life
without you by my side
He may be absent but there's still some remnant of inspiration. Just keep breathing Lady Crim.
i taste your presence on the wind
in the poetry you exhale
it gives me breath
to piourette through the charade of life
without you by my side
He may be absent but there's still some remnant of inspiration. Just keep breathing Lady Crim.
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:41pm
thank you dearest Sir Crow for feeling this write & showing me love.. love Crim
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:41pm
Re. dying stars
Anonymous
20th Sep 2017 1:12am
Oh my looooooooooooooooooooove......is it possible for one to fall in love with ink!? Love, love, love, love....breathtaking and your lines float like the clouds I'm in right now! Clapping hands and squeeeeeeeee'ing like a fool!
I love you deeply
yours always & forever
xoxoxox Taryn
I love you deeply
yours always & forever
xoxoxox Taryn
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:42pm
thank you my love i'm gushing over your comment I love you so much :) love Brenda
Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 12:08pm
Heartbreaking. This piece echoes the pain of a lost love so loudly. It was beautifully expressed.
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 5:43pm
Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 8:11pm
i linger in past lives
where there was a you & i
like dying stars
I linger in unrealized possibilities, this poem was so heartfelt for me. I find myself mourning not the physical loss of a person, but the loss of a part of me and she never brought to fruition. My life seems to be a series of dying stars, all just fading away. No bright cataclysmic supernovas leaving a dazzling afterimage on the retinas of my soul. Just a long melancholic darkness.
Sorry for being so tenebrous.
Thank you for the write.
where there was a you & i
like dying stars
I linger in unrealized possibilities, this poem was so heartfelt for me. I find myself mourning not the physical loss of a person, but the loss of a part of me and she never brought to fruition. My life seems to be a series of dying stars, all just fading away. No bright cataclysmic supernovas leaving a dazzling afterimage on the retinas of my soul. Just a long melancholic darkness.
Sorry for being so tenebrous.
Thank you for the write.
1
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 8:39pm
thank you Wolfe for relating so deeply to this write only sorry it is so.. so poetically you expressed your pain I could feel it.. love Crim
Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 8:45pm
Re: Re. dying stars
20th Sep 2017 8:57pm
Re. dying stars
22nd Sep 2017 7:43am
It's hard to let go of those that made such deep impressions. A feeling I know all too well, but wish I didn't 😢
1
Re: Re. dying stars
28th Sep 2017 3:43pm
thank you yes it is hard to let go of the ones that leave there mark.. love Crim
Re. dying stars
22nd Sep 2017 8:43am
Such a cavernous longing this vibe emanates Crimsin..
emotions comes through so vivid through your ink..
emotions comes through so vivid through your ink..
1
Re: Re. dying stars
28th Sep 2017 3:44pm
Re. dying stars
Anonymous
23rd Sep 2017 00:55am
Brenda.. simply brilliant.. love you sis..
Dave
Dave
1
Re: Re. dying stars
28th Sep 2017 3:45pm
Re. dying stars
19th Dec 2017 1:43am
This feels like a person's pining for their love. Someone that touched their soul and never realized they did. Powerful Brenda.
1
Re: Re. dying stars
19th Dec 2017 1:46am
thank you dearest Xmar
yes this was someone
who moved me greatly
though it wasn't in the stars
for there to be an us
in this life..
love Brenda
yes this was someone
who moved me greatly
though it wasn't in the stars
for there to be an us
in this life..
love Brenda