Technological Butterfly

 I laugh at the words across the screen.
You write to me the things about your simple day,
How the people you missed have once more came into your vision.
Scroll down the page, looking into tidbits of others lives,
Almost hearing their exasperated sighs, their anger or happiness.
Decidedly I choose to add my input, my views on their activity.
Notifications.
Three notifications.
Conversations with three different people,
Oh, I never knew I was a multitask-er!
Is that a like?
Someone actually DOES listen to me, actually READS my status.
You type back, a bit delayed.
I answer in my usual manner, can't help to think if something was wrong with the speed you have begun conversing.
Switch to my favorite page and grin at the silly comments.
Suddenly turn to my friends new status and feel sadness for their plight.
Click on your conversation piece and sigh in relief at the notion you are tired.
I stay up on this technological miracle called the computer,
Hours and hours on end, typing and laughing at digital uploads,
Helping others without awkwardly touching or seeing them,
Only imagining their movements and expressions.
My only escape into the social world they all live in.
There is no denying I am afraid to step out of the confines of my tiny, newly decorated house of safety.
The Internet is safety against real-world threats and suspicion.
I'd blame you all for making me this way, those subtle looks of disgust or apprehension.
Why do you all look at me like that?
I feel as though you all are against me in one way or another.
I'll stay in the house, in this familiar environment,
Communicating through only a few clicks and messages,
Erasing your image to replace it with my own.

Getting off is like shutting myself down.
A heavy drowsiness overcomes me as I fall asleep in my layers of protective covering.
I relax in the surrounding silence and comfort as I place the soft hat over my head; pull over the winter coat.
Dread the social life off the screen to face judgement tomorrow.
What should I wear?
What makeup should I use to look nice for everyone?
Always wear contacts else they become disgusted by the frames.
This could all be avoided if I never woke up.
If I stayed indoors.
Wonder how quickly I can escape to the library when I get shipped off to school without being noticed.
Stay and read an interesting book in a comfortable chair.    Feel fear wash over me as the bell drones out, calling all the people to their crowded, awful classrooms.
Become a speck in the masses of horrible sarcasm.
Wish to be at home, in my favorite chair,
Becoming social once more on the digital screen.
Become the me I really am.
A Technological Butterfly.