deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sheila
It is amazing how when we miss someone,
truly miss someone,
how our lives become a series of reminders.
Even the bad things are things we miss.
One more fight, one more mess,
another clink on the glass when they take a drink.
It gets worse at night.
We think we hear them, even though they are gone,
and that just deepens the inescapable sense of longing
We know this most when it was someone who needed us,
who we invested time and effort into
to try and make their life better
and in the process fill a place in our home.
Our home,
whether in our hearts
or at our hearth
feels a little less as it should be
and we just hope the dull ache stops eventually.
That the passage of time will not make it easier
will not make it forgotten.
We hope not to tarnish a memory.
We just want to remember them and be happy.
In this moment though
we live in grief,
and we long so greatly for any sign of yesterday
real or imagined.
truly miss someone,
how our lives become a series of reminders.
Even the bad things are things we miss.
One more fight, one more mess,
another clink on the glass when they take a drink.
It gets worse at night.
We think we hear them, even though they are gone,
and that just deepens the inescapable sense of longing
We know this most when it was someone who needed us,
who we invested time and effort into
to try and make their life better
and in the process fill a place in our home.
Our home,
whether in our hearts
or at our hearth
feels a little less as it should be
and we just hope the dull ache stops eventually.
That the passage of time will not make it easier
will not make it forgotten.
We hope not to tarnish a memory.
We just want to remember them and be happy.
In this moment though
we live in grief,
and we long so greatly for any sign of yesterday
real or imagined.
Published 22nd Aug 2017
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
14th Nov 2017 4:42am
This is wonderful poetry. It encapsulates the thought process of healing beautifully. That space between loss and peacefulness the we yearn to reach. How this has not been commented on before now is beyond me.
Because you have requested honest critique, I would suggest the following as an example to apply across the board.
It is amazing how when we miss someone
truly miss someone
our lives become a series of reminders
Even the bad things are things we miss
One more fight, one more mess
another clink on the glass when they take a drink
It gets worse at night
We think we hear them, even though they are gone
that just deepens the inescapable sense of longing
All I've done is remove the end punctuation from each line to open it up, allowing it to freely flow. Only capitalization determines a new sentence, and space a thought. I've also deleted a few extraneous words which made no difference to meaning or flow.
Of course these are just suggestions you can feel free to retain or ignore.
Because you have requested honest critique, I would suggest the following as an example to apply across the board.
It is amazing how when we miss someone
truly miss someone
our lives become a series of reminders
Even the bad things are things we miss
One more fight, one more mess
another clink on the glass when they take a drink
It gets worse at night
We think we hear them, even though they are gone
that just deepens the inescapable sense of longing
All I've done is remove the end punctuation from each line to open it up, allowing it to freely flow. Only capitalization determines a new sentence, and space a thought. I've also deleted a few extraneous words which made no difference to meaning or flow.
Of course these are just suggestions you can feel free to retain or ignore.
