deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Abyss
Words circulating expressing darkness , spouting flowers , frying corpses , lying in infatuation , mistaken by hearts errosion , death a contemplate , time and life no escape , words eating at a plate .
Do I really have strength to carry on , I really want to hang my coat up , leave my shoes aside , yet I lie , I lie. . life is a why. .
Life is a why. . why must I want to die. .
Goodbye to the torture I bolt on one's soul , no more treasure can I hold.
Growing old.
Burnt out , sandy eyes , fucking lunatic what a surprise.
Slut , whore , who is she.
Did she ever even know , dark thoughts and shivering memories , a scaring touch lingers here , vulgar eyes , teeth like a wear wolf , strength of a piercing finger nail digged deep inside. .
How can you hide , how can you touch , how can you love. .
Sickness taking its pull , protection to bear forward in , guard and a front to try and win.
What is sin , what is sin , lord let me begin , what is sin.
Do you toss me aside in the bin, this I side while the Bible as you have already forgave yet what if one's soul is scorned and torn .
Where's does that soul go?, What does that soul do?, Must I cry forever inside and out too.
Lord i carry you , deep so far ,love in my memory , cradle me.
Dark eternity ,its rotting. .it's aching.
Lord can you forgive what I choose , life or death , suicides stand as a selfish myth.
I stand whiteness , A life I can't miss , my mind and heart float in the abyss , let me fall.
Let me wonder , let me be impossible to defy the impossible of my dark nights. Terrorised.
A ptsd war mind , nightmares and flashes , illusions and sounds , not the tapping , not the light , not the shouting , not spite.
I forgive you , yet you show no mercy .
I forgive you , yet you curse me.
I forgive you , yet you disperse me .
What are you when you leave me so stranded , what are you when my heart has melted , let me be the ghost girl , I have no desire for love to find.
All zoomed out , flying high
Do I really have strength to carry on , I really want to hang my coat up , leave my shoes aside , yet I lie , I lie. . life is a why. .
Life is a why. . why must I want to die. .
Goodbye to the torture I bolt on one's soul , no more treasure can I hold.
Growing old.
Burnt out , sandy eyes , fucking lunatic what a surprise.
Slut , whore , who is she.
Did she ever even know , dark thoughts and shivering memories , a scaring touch lingers here , vulgar eyes , teeth like a wear wolf , strength of a piercing finger nail digged deep inside. .
How can you hide , how can you touch , how can you love. .
Sickness taking its pull , protection to bear forward in , guard and a front to try and win.
What is sin , what is sin , lord let me begin , what is sin.
Do you toss me aside in the bin, this I side while the Bible as you have already forgave yet what if one's soul is scorned and torn .
Where's does that soul go?, What does that soul do?, Must I cry forever inside and out too.
Lord i carry you , deep so far ,love in my memory , cradle me.
Dark eternity ,its rotting. .it's aching.
Lord can you forgive what I choose , life or death , suicides stand as a selfish myth.
I stand whiteness , A life I can't miss , my mind and heart float in the abyss , let me fall.
Let me wonder , let me be impossible to defy the impossible of my dark nights. Terrorised.
A ptsd war mind , nightmares and flashes , illusions and sounds , not the tapping , not the light , not the shouting , not spite.
I forgive you , yet you show no mercy .
I forgive you , yet you curse me.
I forgive you , yet you disperse me .
What are you when you leave me so stranded , what are you when my heart has melted , let me be the ghost girl , I have no desire for love to find.
All zoomed out , flying high
Published 21st Aug 2017
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Anonymous
8th Sep 2017 00:30am
This all sounds very confused ShannonJane. I'm guessing you must be around 20 years old now but still you suffer with all of this negativity. You have your reasons for this of course. You're searching for an answer. We are & will always be searching for 'the answer' as long as we live, I am sure. Nice writing, interesting thoughts.
16th May 2019 3:55pm
This reads as a lament to the Christian God (You believe in)
and because You're were in such pain 2 years ago, in Your drowning of pain You feel forsaken.
I pray this is no longer the case and You've risen above all of this.
As far as the way You've presented this lament
it would help the reader if You put this in stanzas of say 4 or 5 lines and break up the spills with line breaks.
It would read easier and might even makes more sense and not read like one- run-on thought
and because You're were in such pain 2 years ago, in Your drowning of pain You feel forsaken.
I pray this is no longer the case and You've risen above all of this.
As far as the way You've presented this lament
it would help the reader if You put this in stanzas of say 4 or 5 lines and break up the spills with line breaks.
It would read easier and might even makes more sense and not read like one- run-on thought
12th Nov 2019 1:24am
