Cracks and Gaps

I don't know what to write anymore
I feel like I just repeat myself
The world weighing down on me like anvil, deeper into the waters.
Unspoken words sitting in the padded walls of my brain, with no escape.

Do I talk about how depression is actually a thing for me?
How it's like being a white crayon in a box with every other beautiful color?
It's like living with your eyes closed with the lights on.
So many euphemism to describe it, but nothing words could do to subside it.

Maybe talk about how I can never sleep?
I've done that too many times already.
Yet it's never any different as the days go by.


I wish I could say the same about my love life.
My love life is the closest I'll get to loving life.
Spinning out of control like a car that's lost its traction on the road.
Missing someone who's just as complicated and broken as me.
But when we're together, I feel like all of our pieces fit.
Like a plate that's been shattered and pieced together again.
Trying to avoid losing any of them.
Surely when it's together there's still cracks, but I'll take the cracks over empty gaps of being incompleted.
because those cracks are the best I'll ever have..