Things I Didn't Expect As A Kid

I didn't expect to constantly have a feeling of melancholy.
I was always a cheerful kid, never in dismay.
I had a smile that almost never left my face.
Corners of my mouth glued to each cheek.
It was actually a real smile, not one you had to force with almost every muscle in your face.

I didn't expect I'd spend my youth locked up in my closet of a room.
Willingly putting myself in my comfortable prison cell.
Sitting in the dark and listening to music, letting days pass by.
Because I was just too depressed to go out with friends or to have a social life.
I was always outside when I was a kid, never a moment alone.

I didn't expect life would be so hard.
When I was a kid I imagined it different.
I always thought life got easier as you went along.
I thought life would be like playing a game for too long.
You play long enough, it'll become super easy.
Only it doesn't, because it's more like jenga
Pulling pieces trying not to knock down everything you've built.
If you do, you just attempt to build it up again.
Except you're just playing by yourself, so how do you win?

I didn't expect I'd be into darker stuff.
As a kid, I used to be scared of everything, including the dark.
Now I'm attracted to it like a moth is to a light on your front porch, drawing out the swarm I call emotions.

There's many things I didn't expect.
Just shows you how the story changes when you get to new chapters in the book.
That book is life, and you only have one.