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Image for the poem EIDOLON

EIDOLON

 
I. P R O L O G U E  
 
 
‘I awaken... in torpor  
In silence begets the morn  
Still weathered from last eve  
Where crumble still my reveries  
And all the faces turn from me  
As my amnesty aligns  
With perdition  
Grief struck its nails inside  
And from the black  
A mute chord, ever pure  
And white...’  
 
 
She glances upward to the glass, and sordid did this flower seem  
Two petals in thought, swimming past  
Gems of rain, feeding gravity  
And whispering nothing I, but whispered something
 
'Leave me never', she said with a smile  
'Leave you ever, never I would do  
The thought of such to me, so vile'  
As thought became the ill so true  
As if the truth became a riddle, I never strayed far from the middle  
As top-bound left a scar of doubt, and bottom in undying drought  
So sip I did on greenest tea, and sordid would I ever be  
With death beneath me, seething grey  
As life was just a dream away  
Alas, such a gruesome truth  
Epitome of timeless youth  
While your tender light eludes, so must the darkness pursue  
 
 
Oh, yours those bends on beauty glide, in which my listless eyes reside  
That silhouette I do adore, uncharted realms yet to explore  
Oh, how I adore...  
Most serene decor, of yours  
And fragrant and clean  
No famine to spoil the scene  
The sickness of a strength demeaned, to which it is the one vaccine  
As a kingdom craves a king, became the kingdom's only queen  
And to what degree?  
Silk upon the pearly sea?  
Such cuisine to be  
A cracking door, a silver key
 
 
 
I am without a paddle, in the flood  
Strange this afternoon, to be loved  
A dazzling brightness, somber light  
To thin the veils of foggy night  
Tempest in my ears, some fictitious memory so dear  
And I was thinking...  
Of how the rain had never shifted, of how my frown she'd always lifted  
Stuck inside that joyous reverie, of how her features reached the door  
And turned 'round, movements pure, to grasp my eyes once more...  
Hands like snow on sheltered glades, throat like laughing masquerades  
Enigmatic eyes, mystic glaze  
Like gaseous colours in space  
Above hazel skies, with violet trace...
 
 
 
We were walking this day together  
On crumbling roads, leaf-clothed  
Waltzing dreams of many nights  
And leather trees with stagnant boughs  
Shutting in the radiant light  
Scarce flickers like a screen somehow  
If only a dream could avail reality, that rusty nail  
Embedded forever within me still, and smeared upon the windowsill  
And then it came without a word  
And acute, my screams, but never heard...  
 
 
In distorted lustre, bound to me  
To this day, a raven among the bend  
Betrayed by life, a crimson street  
If even a wish could ever mend  
In graced breath, her whispers bled  
The one who had me now lies dead...
 
 
 
II.  P E R I P E T I E  
 
 
All the matter of the world  
Tangible, visible  
Some self-sufficient, some dependent  
Spun around amidst the dream, ripping of the golden seam  
It was the easiest and worst way  
All the matter, yesterday  
Structured illusion; fractal, pure  
Angels itching at a chance to vilify their dying dance  
Daemons sigh under the sky, of tightening ropes to pry  
As if wearing a crown of thorns embedded  
Inside the horns  
 
 
Clay pendulum, razor twine  
Mnemonic tool, deranged inside  
A forceful leap into the dark, where insects dug into the bark  
I must sweep the past aside, I must see the future glide  
Become the scythe to end it all  
Redemption, in pestilence crawl  
It was never true until proven, no one guilty of the crime  
Until I found the names of those who played  
This sinister game  
So leap I did into the night, and reap I did tonight of nights  
Tracked down to Death's delight  
Greased the wheel of terror's carriage, insidious revenge exacted  
Nothing more their paws could damage  
 
 
No dawn, no day  
Sun glaze fading away  
Live on, no way  
Come and strip away the means of all  
The subtleties, the memories  
That I am too strong to remember, too weak to forget  
Fading slowly, like a cosmic entity dripping down the skyline  
Recalled, glistening by, absinthe to the virgin tongue  
An eye that cannot witness, a scar forever young  
Pale coating, whisper itches  
Dawn...  
Dawn has finally gone  
Feather in the breeze, particle hidden, immersing ocean wave  
Dawn, to forget me  
And in spite of this severity, I doubt that you'd remember me  
It has been so very long  
Ashes remain where we had lain  
I'm sorry...  
Ylem...  
Broken urgency...  
Bitter breathing...  
Death become free...  
Cleansing...  
Spilled into the matter that matters most...
 
 
 
III.  A P O G E E  
 
 
Aberration, shallow stirring  
Expergefaction of the senses  
Guiding candle melts away, gives way for oblivion  
Solstice sparks, celibate star  
Ignis fatuus, blight insidious  
Clouds are coming clean  
Dreaming sky, silver lining  
Stratus looming nigh  
River grey, fog descending  
The fruits of cowardice shutting away the mist  
Twilight seeping forth  
Dusty trails, closing doors  
Nights empty with Autumn proud shill winds turning around  
Dusk burning across the sun  
Leaves wilting, paths undone
 
 
 
An escapade, frost ridden street  
Delving deeper into the throes  
Begrimed, in walking sleep  
Rupturing in tortured pose
 
 
 
One, of which names forgotten  
Sordid reaping, the swarm begotten  
As rotting oak on roads untrodden  
Bestial desires undulating  
Unraveling  
This place of old and dear  
Now stricken with abnormal fear  
Even embrace left no ease  
One with here, remove the crease
 
 
 
Came clairvoyance, with thought was clear  
Like a meddlesome tapping within my ear  
Three months from a year  
It was today, these shapes sought to belay  
Two vultures and a swan  
Some subtly ill memory gone  
It stabs inside an ache so long  
It was today, all reasons wrong
 
‘All the stab wounds left to mend  
All that was, shall be again'  
 
 
Forsworn until a finished task, dripping of an empty flask  
Reeling from what came to pass  
Anxiety, it came at last  
 
 
As if touching the aether, there I was  
Disposed of self, a synapse away  
Hearkening, oscillating between zenith and nadir  
Beholding the wraith whom I knew  
Eidolon...
 
 
 
Something was wrong, however  
Never sullen before, now if ever  
Realized this mistake so violent  
The howling never seemed so silent  
 
 
There, inside this sepulcher  
Gazing with a face obscure  
The devils that I laid to rest  
Made their scar into her chest  
Lest I may be witness;
 
'See, how being dead is bliss'  
 
 
Horror struck me like a knife, same terror that was so defined  
When at first I found the carrion, flesh was crawling  
Could not behold for longer, as if tears became ichor  
And I ran...  
Never looked behind, legs outran my mind  
Breath was shuddering, but still I carried forward  
Life had never seemed so frail, felt as though Death would avail  
 
 
I couldn't sleep with both eyes closed that night  
Hours progressed sluggishly  
The rain inside my heart was flooding me  
Thought she smiled when I turned away...
 
 
 
IV.  D E N O U E M E N T  
 
 
I carried through the next day  
Insomniac in melancholy  
Toiled 'till the ropes in my hands  
Hung loosely over cracking bones  
Drew my last cigarette  
Charring my lungs as I'd always done  
Startled by a gentle gust  
I couldn't bear that ghostly touch!  
 
 
Arrival...  
Home felt strangely safe  
Soaked hair laid on the bed  
Freed my last thoughts of the night  
Shut eyes, spiraling down  
Dreams became nightmares  
Still running, remembering  
Felt no trace of heartbeat, gasping for consciousness  
When at last I found it, I screamed!  
That face was staring down on me...
 
 
 
I saw that face, knowing nothing of Heaven  
Like the darkest room, beyond the sun's reach  
Across a distance such as, between us, obtained no measure  
Like obscurity, aegis forming smoke  
As her eyes, ever cloudy and dead...  
 
 
Drowned in torpor, lucid eyes adrift to shore  
Trying not to look back, into that lifelessness black
 
 
 
'Monochrome, river foam, bleeding home  
Last droplet upon the loam  
Losing heat, scent of wheat, covered feet  
Dancing to archaic beat  
Sweating glass, tongue of brass, our impasse  
Cataleptic, frost-laden grass’  
 
 
‘You were not the first  
Those notions reversed  
And when the forest calls me  
These ashes I am bound to disperse  
And when the shadows haunt me  
I will be the one to drive the hearse’  
 
 
‘Whiskey flask, tundra Pasque, fading mask  
In the dying sun, basked  
Maple pier, silver sphere, singing clear  
Falling from the spire here  
Some debris, flowing free, ebony  
Now the heart will never see’  
 
 
‘You were not the first  
Those notions reversed  
And when the forest calls me  
These ashes I am bound to disperse  
And when the shadows haunt me  
I will be the one to drive the hearse'  
 
 
V.  E P I L O G U E  
 
 
It was I...  
Standing in the aftermath  
What was stolen, taken back  
After wolves, the fox returned  
A sentence long deserved  
The void inside will never be filled  
Just a drop of that precious, sickening beauty  
In too deep, I saw the signs  
Yet the freedom was killed, and temptation was the way  
The path I'd walked so blissfully still  
In the Winter of my lifeless breath  
Cold and frigid, yet ever so full  
I'd never missed that crimson liquor, as a stump missing it's trunk  
Decadent and whimsical  
Alas, mine is the joker's card, the fool who fell in love  
Never more to pass the blame
I wore the headdress, filled with shame  
Guilt bore fruit inside of me, wild flower, plucked for thee  
Chauffeur I was for Death, you see  
Mocking laughter always tore
 
‘More and more’, the void implored  
Years with that beloved whore  
Running through my dreams at night  
Scenes of her dying breath, feel that blistering caress  
Lips formed a perfect circle
 
‘Forever and again my love, I will be there’  
A sentence as I heard it well  
Eidolon, watched me as I fell  
A strand of something marks my floor  
My tether broke, a settled score  
Indeed, sentenced I was  
To die... no more...
Written by UbiquitousVoid
Published | Edited 28th Sep 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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