How Could You Have Known

 
I see the scar between my eyes is almost gone
or so it appears by my reflection in the mirror
You know I forgave you a long time ago
How could you have known he was waiting
Waiting for you to drop me at the door
I heard you tell him  she's drunk and needs to go to bed
How could you have known his polite "ok"
was masking the rage he would unleash on me
Stumbling up the stairs removing clothing as I went
crawled into bed I just wanted to not exist
he dragged my naked body into the hall
one punch to the forehead I felt the slow trickle
that red stream ending as a drip-drip off the end of my nose
like the dripping faucet at mom's when I was a kid
How could you have known his anger was so intense
his hands around my throat I felt myself drifting away
almost there I thought- to Neverland to not feeling anymore
A slap and his voice booming- don't you die on me yet you bitch
brought me back- to another slap and he was dragging me to the bathroom
pushing me- my wobbly naked body fell and my head hit the tub
one eye open the other already swollen partially closed
I saw he had left me there to bleed and cry
How could you have known
I pulled myself up to sitting as he walked back in
dragging me again- down the hall-down the stairs to the landing
punch- in the face this one really hurt as I was fully aware
push- and down I go to the bottom  crash, bang I hit my head on the corner of the wall
standing over me now he is yelling I can tell but I can't hear a thing
I find my voice and scream for help
punch- as I am trying to escape I scream again blood on my lips
he hits me with a belt my back is burning as I crawl to the door
another strike of that belt only now the buckle connects with skin
I feel the blood rolling down my back
I see a flash of light- smile for the camera -he yells as he photographs
my bruised, bleeding, naked body
dragging me up to the landing he opens the front door
Help me someone please help me he's killing me
punch-push out the door I fall naked into that sweltering black night
help me- a light goes on the porch next door
How could you have known
naked and broken I hear the sirens as he opens the door
drags me inside and says I found you like this as he kicks my ribs
bang bang on the door I squint from my place on the floor
as the officer's flashlight shines into the entry
I hear him tell them I found her like this on the front step
a blanket is wrapped around my naked body
and someone's kind strong arms scoop me up and carry me
I hurt everywhere- those arms place me gently on the sofa
who did this to you the voice attached to those arms ask
as the medic is checking my face help me I plead
did he find you like this at the front door
no-he made me like this-
How could you have known
when I said please don't take me home
when I begged you Please don't take me home
that I already knew what was going to happen
they took him away in handcuffs
and you walked in the door you saw me and you cried
I felt bad for you- the officer asked who are you and why are you here
you told them something about being his friend
and a scanner and knowing the address you rushed over
Do you want to go to the hospital we think you may have some serious injuries
no- well we need to take some pictures and they remove the blanket to photograph me
I look at you and you're looking at me-
the bruised bloody and now imperfect- naked me
with pain in your eyes tears rolling down your face
How could you have known how alone I truly felt
how fragile this fearless girl really was
Please forgive me for leaving you here with him you said
How could you have known I responded
How could you have known-
that would be the last time I would ever ask someone to save me