untitled jibber jabber

i was at my most creative peak, when the drugs got inside of me
i would hit that bag until i couldn't speak and the only way i could communicate was if i went deep, like a volcano brewing and boiling my thoughts became molten and my ears got hot, and out spewed wise yet senseless thoughts, they would sizzle and fizz and roll down the side of  my brain, and that's the moment i made my words reign,
the coke kept me focused
the weed helped me notice
not paying attention i did anything bogus
i tried a lot of things once when i felt disgustingly hopeless
my presence was very token
i had to start copin'
the drugs was how i wrote this
it left a door open that i would never have noticed
and to myself i proposed this
unreachable goals, yet i chose this
bottomless holes with nowhere to go on nights that were cold
but the universe in its approach was very bold
so i chose
between consequences and rewards
tired of worrying about what i can't afford
had to quit taking advice and go on my own accord
riding around one night with a full tank of gas and a dollar to my name
listening to grimy rap trying to stay in my lane
i only had the dollar cause thats where i kept my cocaine
i told myself bitch you is a shame with no one to blame
saying hale marys cause the state troopers know my name
asking my alter ego how long are we gonna play this game?
all i have is pain and you not allowing me to change
ive been begging you my whole life to loosen these wing's chained
happiness is calling my name and you hear it too
you know we wont be the same and you fear it too
the feeling has no name but in spirit it do