My Penis 5.0

 
(i)
I have a tattoo on my penis
Looking down it says LOL
When it erect it says
Laughing Out Loud
 
(ii)
I have a Brazilian
I like to go out  
Into the garden
Completely naked
With an erection
And pretend to be
A sundial
 
(iii)
I keep a photograph
Of my penis in my wallet
Well after all it is my
Family member
 
(iv)
I said to her
Would you like  
to see my penis
she said yes
I got it out
She said, now  
I know that
A penis is  
Like a cock
Only smaller
 
(v)
My penis does not need Viagra
It is totally impotent
I put a wooden splint
On it and a heavy duty
Ribbed condom
And shake it at
My next door neighbour
He’s not impressed