The darkness inside

I danced to the music
Alone on the back deck
A cool summer night
Then I saw something
That gave me fright

I danced to the music
My fingers went by my temple
Reki over my third eye
While high on pure thc
Then I could truly see
With my minds eye
A shadow in the seat next to me
Something I didn't want to see

Then the voice came
It said "you let me in
I am the darkness you hide
you've opened your third eye
Let me in again another time
You are the light
I am the darkness you hide"

All my hair was standing up
I ran and took my pills
Started to panic
Afraid of what I had awakened
Inside of me?
Could something so dark
Be in me truly?
I felt ill and puked up the pills
Took another dose thirty minutes latter

The next day it took control
I bottle my anger inside
Someone shook the bottle
Then my brother shook the bottle more
Like anything carbonated it exploded
As I truly imploded
And me a pacifist
Felt rage, murderous rage
Towards my brother
Brother against brother
I felt like someone other
I wanted to kill my brother
We will never see eye to eye
Two completely different creatures
I'm an empath, he a narcissist
I threw a punch, pushed him around
"You want to go!? I'll fucking kill you!"
Murderous rage taking control
The dark inside of me blossoming
Like some cruel black flame

I calmed down
Took a drive
Came back
Took a nap
And had
A lucid dream

I was awake in my dream
Took control of the world
Made night turn to day
In my own fantasy world
It is exhilarating
Invigorating to feel control
Of your own fantasy world
One of my projections
Said "you will better yourself
With your dreams."
I think I now know what that means

I woke up
Late for group
Had to get a prescription too
Smoked like a chimney
Tried to convince myself
"No you're not still dreaming"
I was over an hour late
I started to vent my anger
Telling them all in limited detail
About the fight, the hallucinations
And someone who reminds me
Of my brother started to talk
Saying I was giving my brother power
Then I saw no
I was giving the darkness power
As the one that is a splitting image
Of my brother went into a seizure
He shook and trembled
Fell to the floor
An ambulance was called
My anger melted away to fear
I felt responsible in some way
Like I had brought something
Into the room, the darkness
The darkness inside of me

I came home
Apologized to my brother
Humbled him with wisdom
Felt bad for my mother
Who was away for a couple days
I know I'll make up for it some day
That was one of the weirdest
Twenty four hours of my life
And I will remember
The darkness inside
That I choose to hide