A little long night

This piece cast a line from insomnia to morning
My cries and pleads for sleep left miserably disappointing
All the lost dreams I don't have the pleasure of joining
To rest these weary thoughts away, the ones that knock the ones that stay
From social butterfly to an introverted type of guy
A scary time for the darkest thoughts come at night
But run away and hide at the first sign of morning light
Asking myself the question if it's better to live or die
Because being sleepless every night exhausted and tired is no way to feel alive
A terrible tragedy, a terrible condition
Myself conflicted with the mental damage I've inflicted
I just want to rest, I just want some sleep
But I'm stuck in my head and I'm in way too deep
Recovery is slim it seems too bleak
Yet I don't open my mouth I choose not to speak
So I wrote my thoughts down onto paper
Hoping to find comfort in the words I've written later
Sitting in a time machine, of my bleeding mind dreams
Sit up and shout because punching myself in the head won't necessarily get that voice out
But that's something no one ever had time to point out
but I had to learn to whisper before I could enjoy shouting
I was scared to death barely slept take a breathe prepare to step from where I wept to shed my tears till no nightmares were left
Each day gets a little less intense I no longer feel like there's someone standing on my chest
My heads blanks with the scream that silence brings
Easing... my brain no longer too extreme for me
Just one thing on my mind constantly on repeat
Insomnia on the brink of defeat
Why does this condition have to keep fucking with me?
Wasn't it enough to have depression and anxiety but I guess you had to add insomnia to variety
So I outcast myself to all forms of society
Only safe place I see is the confines of reality
This is my message to anyone out there that thinks they know me, don't pretend to understand none of the issues that I'm holding
As I wait in darkness and hope for blissful a morning
I see myself as one with the conditions that form me.