deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rinse Me, Numb Me
No more guises
Just look into my eyes
Every word said, from now
Will not be a lie
But every word about to jump
From your lips shall die
Because your carnal cravings
Will eat them alive.
I'm slowly dissipating
But I know you can revive me
A fallen tree, I sleep here
Slipping into lifelessness
But I feel so ravenous
And I know you can feel
The thumping of my heart
It's eager; deeply.
You crawl up to me
With a different face
Different intentions
Breathing different air
I inhale your energy
My longing embraced
I want every trace of innocence
Completely defaced.
Overpowered
By this yearning
We want, we crave
And we’re still learning
I cannot feel a thing
But a burning hunger
You cling to me
I invite you in.
Of course, I do, I crave your skin
It’s a liquid I wish to immerse myself in
Your scent rinses me
Keeps me within your carnal hold,
Let the numbing begin.
Just look into my eyes
Every word said, from now
Will not be a lie
But every word about to jump
From your lips shall die
Because your carnal cravings
Will eat them alive.
I'm slowly dissipating
But I know you can revive me
A fallen tree, I sleep here
Slipping into lifelessness
But I feel so ravenous
And I know you can feel
The thumping of my heart
It's eager; deeply.
You crawl up to me
With a different face
Different intentions
Breathing different air
I inhale your energy
My longing embraced
I want every trace of innocence
Completely defaced.
Overpowered
By this yearning
We want, we crave
And we’re still learning
I cannot feel a thing
But a burning hunger
You cling to me
I invite you in.
Of course, I do, I crave your skin
It’s a liquid I wish to immerse myself in
Your scent rinses me
Keeps me within your carnal hold,
Let the numbing begin.
Author's Note
I have edited this poem very slightly since posting it. It's now complete.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 3
comments 18
reads 868
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
10th Jul 2017 11:53pm
I know the feeling of this overwhelming yearning it can be overpowering indeed, a good write loved how it flowed 😊
2
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
11th Jul 2017 1:54pm
Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
5th Mar 2018 2:54pm
The second half of that first stanza is fantastic
"every word about to jump
From your lips shall die
Because your carnal cravings
Will eat them alive " -the lips ,the craving,a never ending hunger of the flesh; a wolf in the nights cobalt blue moon rising red.
"A fallen tree, I sleep here
As lifeless as can be
But I feel so ravenous "- waiting to be taken,and wait for the taker to become the unbeknownst prey
and that 5th stanza is gold
"I crave your skin
It’s a liquid I wish to
Immerse myself in
Your scent rinses me" - you are my scalding hot bath water, from skin to liquid you shall turn me.form me back in the morning for repetition;rinse and repeat.
well penned thorny-human, very sensual write.
"every word about to jump
From your lips shall die
Because your carnal cravings
Will eat them alive " -the lips ,the craving,a never ending hunger of the flesh; a wolf in the nights cobalt blue moon rising red.
"A fallen tree, I sleep here
As lifeless as can be
But I feel so ravenous "- waiting to be taken,and wait for the taker to become the unbeknownst prey
and that 5th stanza is gold
"I crave your skin
It’s a liquid I wish to
Immerse myself in
Your scent rinses me" - you are my scalding hot bath water, from skin to liquid you shall turn me.form me back in the morning for repetition;rinse and repeat.
well penned thorny-human, very sensual write.
1
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
5th Mar 2018 3:54pm
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
5th Mar 2018 4:03pm
Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
10th Mar 2018 11:55am
"I want every traced of innocence/completely defaced" - what a great pair of lines with a perfect line break. Just the right amount of peppering with rhyme. Great poem my poetess.
1
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
11th Mar 2018 5:57pm
A brilliantly written poem with clever metaphors. I can feel the intense desire and need the narrator holds for this special someone she talks about; as if she finds no point in existing without that someone.
Well done!
Well done!
1
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
12th Mar 2018 7:13am
Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
13th Mar 2018 5:24pm
Thorny, this illustrates so well our attempts to hide our true desire with thinly veiled small talk and noble facades. I pondered quite a bit this passage:
"But every word about to jump
From your lips shall die
Because your carnal cravings
Will eat them alive "
Content aside this is a beautifully composed poem,
Bravisima!
"But every word about to jump
From your lips shall die
Because your carnal cravings
Will eat them alive "
Content aside this is a beautifully composed poem,
Bravisima!
1
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
16th Mar 2018 9:58am
I’m glad I was able to portray that well. Thanks a lot for your compliment.
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Sep 2022 7:45pm
14th Mar 2018 10:57pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
16th Mar 2018 10:00am
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Dec 2018 6:48pm
2nd Apr 2018 6:44am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
2nd Apr 2018 12:49pm
Re. Rinse Me, Numb Me
Anonymous
5th Feb 2020 11:18pm
Delicious and thought provoking ink.
Well penned
Well penned
0