deepundergroundpoetry.com
Obnoxious Entrapment
Chaos wine drunk
from gravity bongs,
liquid nectar
visceral vaginal secretions,
facetious laughing Gabriel
scratching my recoiled mind
jibber jabber shined.
Landed with miscues
of embedded principles,
wings clipped still
dangerously eclectic,
peel back your skin
from within beautiful sin,
cobwebs of continuance
my illustrious demise.
My own cherry dipped
cock penetrating
my esophagus,
choke on lifes
equilibrium
golden chalice,
he sneers
at my pain
plain as acid rain
disintegrating my
inner membranes.
Conniving celestial brute
you're in cahoots
with Mephistopheles
worm racked atrocities,
tis ok really it is
I'll scratch you're back
so I can steal thine
glow,
now I show my
twisted side broken back
alpha barbaric purity
anal seepage
discharged from your oculars.
How sick is he?
Sick how this be?
Copyright © 2017 QuietusQuill.All Rights Reserved
from gravity bongs,
liquid nectar
visceral vaginal secretions,
facetious laughing Gabriel
scratching my recoiled mind
jibber jabber shined.
Landed with miscues
of embedded principles,
wings clipped still
dangerously eclectic,
peel back your skin
from within beautiful sin,
cobwebs of continuance
my illustrious demise.
My own cherry dipped
cock penetrating
my esophagus,
choke on lifes
equilibrium
golden chalice,
he sneers
at my pain
plain as acid rain
disintegrating my
inner membranes.
Conniving celestial brute
you're in cahoots
with Mephistopheles
worm racked atrocities,
tis ok really it is
I'll scratch you're back
so I can steal thine
glow,
now I show my
twisted side broken back
alpha barbaric purity
anal seepage
discharged from your oculars.
How sick is he?
Sick how this be?
Copyright © 2017 QuietusQuill.All Rights Reserved
Published 8th Jul 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 5
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th Jul 2017 3:52pm
This... was intense ! It reminded me of a betrayal that I once felt. ☹🤐
I hope this isn't something you're experiencing at the moment ! 💙
I hope this isn't something you're experiencing at the moment ! 💙
8th Jul 2017 3:53pm
8th Jul 2017 8:53pm
i love being carried away by your poems. honest to jeebus, it's next level fecking amazing.
"peel back your skin
from within beautiful sin,
cobwebs of continuance
my illustrious demise.
My own cherry dipped
cock penetrating
my esophagus,"
^^^^^
i read that, mouth agape, as tho i might be able to swallow this whole .
*
since you've asked for honest critique, i will say that use of "drunken" in the first line bugged me a bit. would have axed the -en & stuck with drunk, but that's just personal preference really
s11 l2 "your" should be you're.
that said, it my opinion & you're welcome to tell me to shaft myself with it {won't be the least offended, yes?}
*
another fantastic addition, q
"peel back your skin
from within beautiful sin,
cobwebs of continuance
my illustrious demise.
My own cherry dipped
cock penetrating
my esophagus,"
^^^^^
i read that, mouth agape, as tho i might be able to swallow this whole .
*
since you've asked for honest critique, i will say that use of "drunken" in the first line bugged me a bit. would have axed the -en & stuck with drunk, but that's just personal preference really
s11 l2 "your" should be you're.
that said, it my opinion & you're welcome to tell me to shaft myself with it {won't be the least offended, yes?}
*
another fantastic addition, q
I will never tell you to shaft yourself that would be a paradox lol thank you i will make the adjustments I appreciate your honest critique I'm no English professor babe so I do make mistakes, that is an old write anyway funny how no one else noticed that them bastards I could've used their advice. Thank you again my wonderful wonderful poetess 🌹🌹🌹
8th Jul 2017 10:32pm
"he sneers
at my pain
plain as acid rain
disintegrating my
inner membranes.
Conniving celestial brute
you're in cahoots
with Mephistopheles
worm racked atrocities,"
ah Quiet one does seem so doesn't it..
the evidence is in i believe you are right..
fucking fantastic ink..
love Crim
at my pain
plain as acid rain
disintegrating my
inner membranes.
Conniving celestial brute
you're in cahoots
with Mephistopheles
worm racked atrocities,"
ah Quiet one does seem so doesn't it..
the evidence is in i believe you are right..
fucking fantastic ink..
love Crim
