deepundergroundpoetry.com
My biggest fear
You rise to the sky
A contortion of autumn leaves
leaving me behind
and my knees get weak
Throw myself to the earth
Twigs stab but they don't hurt
Useless tears salting my mud caked face
Nails break, clawing at the dirt
Digging
Hoping to bury myself alive
Nothing matters, absolutely nothing
Mother, you've left me cast aside.
A contortion of autumn leaves
leaving me behind
and my knees get weak
Throw myself to the earth
Twigs stab but they don't hurt
Useless tears salting my mud caked face
Nails break, clawing at the dirt
Digging
Hoping to bury myself alive
Nothing matters, absolutely nothing
Mother, you've left me cast aside.
Published 30th Aug 2011
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comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
9th Sep 2011 1:09am
this is quite the poem you have here,the subtle rhyme with earth and dirt works well. the whole lot kind of takes me in to some vivid imagery.
great stuff,
if i had to find fault, and it's not a big one but i feel the title is a bit straight forward for the content.
that said the poem is a great read.
fair play.
great stuff,
if i had to find fault, and it's not a big one but i feel the title is a bit straight forward for the content.
that said the poem is a great read.
fair play.
9th Sep 2011 7:41am
Thank you!
And yes, I hate my titles ..it's so hard to find a good one, nonetheless fitting..
And yes, I hate my titles ..it's so hard to find a good one, nonetheless fitting..
29th Nov 2011 4:41pm
29th Nov 2011 8:20pm
