Same Coin

I miss the crowd I had
Before I went my own way
To pursue a larger dream
And where that dream still is alive
And I know new people and have a great sense of support
A cheering section
I still miss those who were before
who knew a different part of me
a little darker
edgier
who wrote of skin, want, and exchange

My new friends I doubt would know what to do
With my words in the dark of the shade
I'm hesitant to say and share those words of
intimacy
They aren't for everyone

I now go back and forth between both worlds
One of large ambition towards written submission
and one of feeling
emotion
of a desire I cannot escape
and so I must write

Part of me wants to reconcile the two
Am I not the same author of all these words?
Another part wants me to keep one secret from the other
So I can still become two different people