The Gamble

If I'm honest with myself,
I put myself up on the shelf,

to slim the risk of seeming needy,
or being accused of being greedy,

been in a place I could call happy,
had my chance to be all sappy,

but the wheel just spun away,
and other people came to play,

so who am I to ask for more?
who am I to hold the door?

maybe I should just be grateful,
for the small time life seemed fateful,

and though I wouldn't change my past,
I don't want it to be the last,

search a cure for this fever,
found a coin and went to that slot,
push it in and pull the lever,
will I finally hit the jackpot?