the depression pages

   
you want to know me?    
   
I have a scar    
that looks like a lightening bolt    
on my right arm    
   
a war wound    
from my heroin days    
a slam & a miss    
   
left me with an ugly abscess    
my main vein was removed    
it was eaten clean through    
by the infection    
was some nasty business    
   
then there are the depression pages    
black days    
where I only showed my rage    
& all my self hate    
   
whiskey sunrises    
more than I can count    
so many years forgotten    
   
let's not forget the lines    
endless lines that fueled my writes    
   
I kissed you with vomit on my lips    
& you loved me still    
pissed on the page    
you cleaned up after me    
   
exposed myself in public    
ran around the poetic halls naked    
you pretended I was dressed    
in the finest silks    
   
the insanity of it all    
leaves me reeling    
   
the darkness I spit    
from the pit    
good times    
   
but even bad girls    
have to grow up someday    
   
   
   
   
   
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