Bal Masqué

seductively gorgeous ink beautiful Duende..

love Brenda

Thank you so much for your comment, dear Crim  

I'm glad you found this seductively gorgeous :-)  

Love, Duende

Beautiful Duende, you just set the most romantic scene and took us for a beautiful dance. Thank you for your beautiful voice, my lady

Thank you so much for your comment, dear Ash  

This is the reason I love competitions... they inspire me to write about things I would never have thought of myself and with dance being one of my passions, I just had to do something with bal masqué! Great to hear you enjoyed this one :-)

Always so seductively intense....a breathe of fresh air each and every time <3

That's such an amazing thing to say :-)    
 
I've done self poems, but in all honesty... it depresses me! It's writing poems like this which brings me joy and I'm happy you think it's a breath of fresh air, that truly means a lot to me!  

Thank you so much, dear <3

Wow , amazing dear and the shape so sultry.

Yeah... me and my shape ;-)  

I'm glad to hear you found this sultry... thank you so much for your comment, Tim

Hey stranger, great to see you on my page again :-)  

Your poetic comments means a lot to me... thank you so much!

Love how the write reminds me of an hour glass.
Like it a lot !

Ragnar! Great you picked that up :-)  

I had an hourglass, corset, feminine curves in mind while writing this... thank you so much for your smile inducing comment, I really appreciate it and I'm happy you liked it a lot!

sounds perfect - this created for me a bright spot in my day - thank you :-)

You're welcome... I'm glad to have brought you a bright spot :-)  

Thank you so much for your comment, David

Hey Duende.......what an enchanting ink.......your words are always so visual.......I could feel your words dancing as I read......brilliant as always......purple luv & hugs xo :)

Hey my lovely flower, thank you so much for your comment!  

You always bring smiles to my page...  I'm happy you thought this was enchanting and that you could feel my words dancing (love the idea)  

Love and hugs back at ya :-)

My Dear Duende, this write floated beautifully in its elegance...and the way you composed it, sexy as hell...good luck in the comp!! Hugs and love to you my friend!

xoxo Taryn

Thank you so much for your comment, dear Taryn!  

I'm happy you thought it was sexy as hell... I saw the line with bal masqué in the comp and said to myself: that line is mine (lol) When I get to put in some extravagance I'm having a poetry party on my own :-)  

Love and hugs back at ya, my friend

Wonderful poem and a wonderful picture to match.

Lovely 🤗

Thank you so much, my friend!  

I knew you would love that picture :-)

Good luck sexy sweet one!


btw: i am loving the picturesque undertones of  risqué,
doesn't get any more appealing than that

Thank you so much for your comment, love!  

Always nice to see you on my page and yep... risqué undertones ;-)

Very cinematic!

Cinematic? I like that :-)  

Thank you so much for dropping by, debug!

Reading it was like watching some of these music videos:    
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxJbhL35S_M  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH1CMCtV4to    
 
with some reminiscence of Miami Vice:  
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7ZuVS9vuKk    
 
...as they fly away with the speedboat to Havana to grab Mojitos and dance...

Thank you so much for the links! I can definitely see them dancing on Slave to Love (love that song... and the video) The first video is enchanting (never heard of the movie)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100934/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Visually n verbally assailing the senses with your seductive sensuality! Mmm...may I have this dance!? :)

Thank you so much for your amazing comment, dear Poetik!  

I'm happy you find this seductive and sensual :-)

First, the rippled form is fantastic and captures the eye perfectly. A good form is vital ( imho ) to capture initial attention, seconded only by a title - and you've nailed that beautifully as well. The selected photo is also intriguing.

Overall I enjoyed the poem very much, Duende. It was structured and concise as are dance steps, yet flowed like the music accompanying the movement.


"boudoir noire night"

^ the alliteration of noire and night initially disturbed me, and I almost suggested that night be removed, as boudoir and noire - but then a pronounced it various ways ( as accents and dialects vary ) and it worked.

velveteen queen < -- kick-butt assonance!

dressed in
elegant
black
burlesque

^ This one is chock packed. Love the assonance of 'e' and 'a' as well as the consonance of 's', then you have the alliteration of black and burlesque. It rolls off the tongue like a dance.

her sexy façon
caught his attention < - excellent couplet. I pronounced attention in French and it rocked.

she was utterly flattered <-- nice consonant tango there. ;)

the venetian dandy <-- I think Venetian should be capped?
made quite an
impression

he swept
her off
her feet <-- enjoyed the dip in this one. :D

swirling and
swinging like
Ginger and Fred <-- Very nice.

colliding in a bal masqué
they swayed the night away

^ I'm thinking about how it would sound if this couplet were reversed so that the final line could revert to the title.

Again, really enjoyed the read!

Dear Ahavati, you blew me away with your amazing and extensive comment, that truly means a lot to me! I'm really happy you mentioned the Ginger and Fred line, because I thought it was a nice addition to the poem :-)    
 
As for those last two lines... I understand your suggestion! I tried to reverse them (many times) and kept reading it out loud over and over again and I thought the flow was better this way. In the poem I rippled the line with bal masqué was last and I wanted to avoid that... I also liked the fact that the poem starts with "night" and ends with "night"    
 
Great to hear you liked "façon" (it should indeed be pronounced in French) I tried many other words, because I was afraid people wouldn't understand it, but decided to stick with how I liked it :-)    

Finally... venetian should indeed be written with a capital! I had venetian carnival in mind (which is a bal masqué) and wanted to avoid making it look like he came from Venice. Also... I found the capital in that line visually disturbing (oh, oh, oh, me and my visuals) I might change it...    
 
I really appreciate it that you took the time to leave a thoughtful comment and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

oooh this was a pleasant surprise, a bit like being transported into one of those historical romances (guilty pleasure of mine really)
a stellar job rippling this one, lady d
best of luck in the comp
xo

Thank you so much for your comment, lady!    
 
I'm glad it was a pleasant surprise and that it transported you to an historical romance... that was a bit my intentention (I like costume movies amongst other kind of movies)  

Really appreciate your support :-) xXx

what more can i say that hasn't been said already, you are a beautiful artist Duende I am in awe
absolutely perfect!
^5 and hugsss
Jackie

That's such an amazing thing to say, Jackie... you left me a bit speechless...  

Thank you so much, your comment and the reading list truly mean a lot to me!  

Hugs, Duende

Also with the form you chose it truly looks like a female hourglass shape ! you are a clever witch!
loves this!
Zazz Xx

Clever witch? Oh yeah... I can go for that :-)  

It was indeed meant to look like an hourglass/female curves!  

Glad to hear you love this one! Some more hugs...

The hourglass, ball gown shape is cleverly used, and the eye flows nicely over it. This held a bit of a twist. The beginning, establishing your female character as a burlesque queen of the night calls to mind a woman experienced, likely jaded.

I read this line – "she was utterly flattered" – in a sarcastic tone, as this is a woman I wouldn't expect to flattered easily, because she receives compliments and attention regularly. When the dandy makes an impression, I'm not immediately sure that it's a good one. Then, she's swept off her feet and dancing the night away. That was the twist for me.

I like that you used "Ginger and Fred" which is so often written as "Fred and Ginger", so it catches the eye, enough to be noticed, but not to distraction.

In reference to one of the comments above, I'm glad you went with your desire to use façon. Though there may be those who don't know it, the context gives it enough meaning that it's understandable. And there's always an internet search a click away.

Thank you so much for your extensive comment, paperstains! I really appreciate it that you took the time to leave your thougths on this one :-)  

Utterly flattered was indeed meant to be a bit sarcastic... I also thought the use of "flattered" suited the poem (I wanted it to be frivolous) That I chose to put Ginger first was because it isn't mainstream, but also because the flow was better that way (I read my work out loud until I'm happy with the flow)  

Finally... I'm glad you liked the use of façon! It's another confirmation that I should always listen to my intuition and stick with what I like... it is indeed an internet click away for the ones who don't know...

Definitely a classic feel, as if I am watching one of the black and white treasures that marked the “golden age of Hollywood”.

That it reminded you of the golden age of Hollywood is an amazing compliment, thank you so much Jazzmanor!

Elegant and lovely with a lacy dark pattern; I like the simple romanticism with just a hint/undertone of an erotic charge. Consider expanding or continuing this one, I feel like you opened a door and let us see a room but you’ve yet to explore...

Those are some beautiful words, thank you very much!

As for expanding... this one is shorter than the rest of my poetry which has an average around 100/120 words. That's because it was written for a competition and one of the "rules" was 50 words! It forced me to get out of my comfort zone and use a bit of a different approach...

Having said that... that you want more means I did something good :-)

Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a thoughtful comment!