enough

 
two o’clock in the morning  
sitting naked on my rooftop  
 
need to be up in four hours  
to hit the job  
 
but no sleep  
 
job fucking with me  
mind going over the same ground  
stuck in it  
can’t solve the problem  
but won’t leave it alone  
 
have tried all the usual tricks;  
meditated  
watched a French movie  
read a chapter on finance management  
rubbed one out  
 
but here I am  
cold  
naked  
awake  
on the roof  
my arse soaking up the temperature of the roof-iron  
a slow southerly breeze carrying my smoke away  
can feel smell rain coming  
skin ready for it  
and the city gone so quiet  
you’d hardly know  
there was anyone alive  
 
I feel the best kind of alone  
the kind when you have a good reason for it  
 
hear footsteps  
so cover the end of my smoke  
to stay unseen  
and watch two young blokes talking laughing  
dressed up  
coming back from somewhere  
 
they laugh again  
reach out  
hold hands  
 
I smile for young lovers going home  
put my hand out for my glass  
and knock it sideways in the dark  
 
they hear the unmistakable sound  
feel watched  
slip their hands apart  
 
I feel bad for that  
for their fear  
 
lean backward until my whole body feels the roof  
the cold of it inside me now  
 
feel like I broke something magic  
just in that moment  
of slipping them apart  
then remind myself  
I don’t believe in that shit  
 
stand up  
find my glass  
feel the first start of rain  
 
good  
 
will sleep now  
 
rain on the roof  
enough to make me quiet