A Selfless Courage

Diagnosis brutal, for you and for our three        
unable to fathom, the abandonment of thee        
        
Selfish in our thinking, prayers for your resilience        
unpredictable, what you endured in experience        
       
All your strength was summoned for an uncertain battle        
selflessly you chose to fight with nerves never to rattle
        
A survivor in your nature as it had always been        
combating valiantly, only for your kin        
       
Wishing I possessed, a courage same as you        
at the time of your living and shown I would pull through        
       
Remembering I reflect, complicated guilt I bear        
intentions to have been stronger, acutely aware        
       
Numbing all my pain over those dark years        
I regret not being present, in the moments of our fears        
       
I wonder how you see me now as you look down from grace        
seeing all my scars, as I yearn for one more embrace