A Selfless Courage

Diagnosis brutal, for you and for our three      
unable to fathom, the abandonment of thee      
      
Selfish in our thinking, prayers for your resilience      
unpredictable, what you endured in experience      
       
All your strength was summoned for an uncertain battle      
selflessly you chose to fight with nerves never to rattle      
A survivor in your nature as it had always been      
combating valiantly, only for your kin      
       
Wishing I possessed, a courage same as you      
at the time of your living and shown I would pull through      
       
Remembering I reflect, complicated guilt I bear      
intentions to have been stronger, acutely aware      
       
Numbing all my pain over those dark years      
I regret not being present, in the moments of our fears      
       
I wonder how you see me now as you look down from grace      
seeing all my scars, as I yearn for one more embrace