deepundergroundpoetry.com
Me
I need to walk in a green field of fresh cut grass
The day must be bright the sky a true blue and the clouds cotton and the perfect wind breeze.
Then right after,right after I go back to normal the new normal.
I have been asking; who's been setting my traps? Why, me of course.
The day must be bright the sky a true blue and the clouds cotton and the perfect wind breeze.
Then right after,right after I go back to normal the new normal.
I have been asking; who's been setting my traps? Why, me of course.
Published 3rd May 2017
| Edited 7th May 2017
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7th May 2017 9:23am
I like the overall sentiment, but I think you might be able to get it across with less. I don't think your opening question works. I don't think many would find it sad that walking in a grassy field gives you some happiness. You've got something to work with here, the self-realization at the end is good, but it could use some editing.
7th May 2017 3:59pm
9th May 2017 6:30am
