crumbs

Specs of dust on the windowsill piling up till I can't see over  
Cookies crumbling to the floor beneath my feet where I try to step  
Cracks revealed as my world disintegrates into nothingness  
I can see no way out of the box I am nailing shut for eternity  
This is not my life and shattered madness is the key to insanity  
The shadows reveal more to me than the lightning illuminates  
A moment of exposure cooks the crumbled cookies into visions  
I could not see for the hunger lurking deep inside of me was blinding  
Feeling my way through the hallways of shame that secretly bound me  
Then set free to find the world is just a prison spinning in the darkness  
With dots on the walls pretending to be daylight beyond my understanding  
I am waiting for someone to show me how any of this makes sense  
And why I should continue without a continuum of insight to speak of?  
No amount of time has turned the pages of my poetry into words that soothe my soul  
Only chaos laced with anxiety that shakes my center and crumbles my core  
Till now there has been only faded hope and in my despair I can't feel it anymore