deepundergroundpoetry.com
Siren's Song
Heroin is naught but a sirens song to me
singing of warm, forgetful peace –
so false and fleeting,
self-induced living death,
the Jones ever creeping.
Til none is left but a wretch,
shadow chasing.
A nightmare of my own contriving,
ever convinced of her beauty but never realizing –
it was just her song in my head
and not worth dying for.
singing of warm, forgetful peace –
so false and fleeting,
self-induced living death,
the Jones ever creeping.
Til none is left but a wretch,
shadow chasing.
A nightmare of my own contriving,
ever convinced of her beauty but never realizing –
it was just her song in my head
and not worth dying for.
Published 27th Apr 2017
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Apr 2017 4:39pm
I know those messages well...but I agree the messages in our head are never worth dying for. You, my dear, are worthy of living.
Best,
Mel
Best,
Mel
28th Apr 2017 00:34am
Well hello
Welcome (I'm probably a little late, oh well)
The opening line grabs the reader by the hair and marches them into the work. Brilliant!
I caught myself mumbling but she won't top it and then you did in the closing line.
I don't have much in the way of critique for you really... I adore this work. I s'pose some would ask about the punctuation on the line breaks and some might wonder about starting that last line with "and" but I wouldn't worry unless you wanted to the piece is magnificent really.
Blessings @ you
Al
Welcome (I'm probably a little late, oh well)
The opening line grabs the reader by the hair and marches them into the work. Brilliant!
I caught myself mumbling but she won't top it and then you did in the closing line.
I don't have much in the way of critique for you really... I adore this work. I s'pose some would ask about the punctuation on the line breaks and some might wonder about starting that last line with "and" but I wouldn't worry unless you wanted to the piece is magnificent really.
Blessings @ you
Al
thank you! I'm so happy to find this little corner of the internet. :) i appreciate the constructive criticism. I've been off my game for awhile so just trying to get back into the swing of things.
29th Apr 2017 9:36am
I know that song well.. this is an absolutely stunning write that really paints a picture of her lure & pain..
love Crim
love Crim
