Fading (must be something in the water)

I can’t escape this feeling that keeps creeping over me
 
Blinded by my tears, my success I just can’t see.
 
I can’t seem to hold a relationship
 
Yet at times I can’t be alone,
 
I’m desperate now, with no one to turn to
 
No place to call home.
 
“I try to stay high, so I can get by
 
on their superficial smiles,
 
though inside, I’m dying all the while.”
 
Some people try to help me, they wonder how I am
 
But no one can help me, not even me,
 
So why bother giving a damn?!
 
I habitually hurt the ones I love and love the ones I hurt,
 
Hiding away my problems with a long-sleeved shirt.
 
Nineteen years old, an idealist I’m told,
 
So why all the needles in my arms?!
 
Only death can await me on this dead end road,
 
Still I say there’s no need for alarm.
 
“I ignore my reflection,  
 
Can’t stand the sight of my face,
 
A fucked up addict,
 
A waste of space.”
 
My flesh is melting off my bones,
 
I can’t convince myself to stay,
 
A constant reminder I tell to myself,
 
‘Better to burn out than fade away.’