...

i wish for those who wish to be take to be taken  
to receive all the thrusts they crave  
from muscle flexing, yang wielding, rock hard egos  
that shuck what they want whenever they want  
plucking ripened lust from those that make themselves prey  
that flirt and reveal their thighs  
and blink their eyes  
like human capote de bregas  
awaiting the muleta for themselves  
 
i admire their arched back and succumbing moans  
i hope and wish for their bulls to scratch all their itches  
i dream of their satiated, soft fulfilled eyes  
and open-for-business thighs  
closing afterwards  
to retain the after warmth  
and feed their memories  
of being wanted  
and receiving  
all of what was commanded of them  
 
but when they stand  
and redress those sultry hips into the tight skirt that was the lure  
and put their dainty feet back into heels  
i just want to beg  
and be theirs  
 
...  
 
to be her mirror mirror on the wall  
reminding her that she is the fairest of them all  
so when his prolactin laced sleep takes hold  
and attention wanes  
she can put her toe into the warm glow  
of my everlasting lust  
 
...  
 
what is the currency of adoration?  
of enduring desperation?  
of living swollen with need  
for your attention  
and permission to fixate upon you  
 
can you enjoy my suffering?  
as something i do for you  
a perpetual spit shine of your mirror  
so that you may always see with crystal clarity  
the canyon of your beauty  
 
i want to live in this dungeon of despair  
not having but kept wanting  
aching  
so terribly that you almost have mercy on me  
but then remember  
this is my currency  
and even if there is no cruelty within you  
and you know i have not a strand of bull in my dna  
and cannot please you in any other way  
that being kept suffering  
is the best use of me  
and you can put mercy back in your pocket  
and feel joy from the tension you create  
 
for i cannot rise to the occasion  
my yang is supplanted by my yin  
i can only offer you despair and sacrifice  
in service to your encouragement  
for more  
and the use  
of many "no"s  
and 'never'  
for my own good  
of course  
 
...  
 
i am hard  
yet impotent  
i am aroused  
yet you deny me  
again and again into always  
and when i am so close  
you smile  
and have me zip up your dress  
leaving me to write  
the longest thank you  
until you return  
to start all over  
again