deepundergroundpoetry.com
SKIRTAN
You iron the pleats
Of a linen skirt
Spray on starch
For the scent is reassuring
tap tap tap
And there are shelves of love
And love on the floor
Stacked up in stories
Without foundation
So the cat that passes
Wobbles them
tap tap tap the cat on the pane
And inside one book
Inside the cover
A lover's name and yours
And a date
tap tap blinds on window frame
There are two cups
The second empty
Is there a name for useful things
No longer in use
tap tap who blows the wind
A stranger
Feed him love him
Like your cat
Give him pet names
And he will fill your cup
tapping an ocean
Of a linen skirt
Spray on starch
For the scent is reassuring
tap tap tap
And there are shelves of love
And love on the floor
Stacked up in stories
Without foundation
So the cat that passes
Wobbles them
tap tap tap the cat on the pane
And inside one book
Inside the cover
A lover's name and yours
And a date
tap tap blinds on window frame
There are two cups
The second empty
Is there a name for useful things
No longer in use
tap tap who blows the wind
A stranger
Feed him love him
Like your cat
Give him pet names
And he will fill your cup
tapping an ocean
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likes 11
reading list entries 1
comments 20
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 1:37am
There are two cups
The second empty
Is there a name for useful things
No longer in use
This one sunk deep, Brother.
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 7:28am
yes dear sister nothing hurts us like that place now hollow but what filled that cup and will fill us again is as large as an ocean
Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 10:01am
the name for useful things no longer in use
could only be spoken by a poet;
& when the tapping stops, what then...
could only be spoken by a poet;
& when the tapping stops, what then...
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 2:32pm
Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 10:21am
The tapping refrain creates a sensual atmosphere, so that you can almost hear the tapping each time. Normally I'd correct your use of "stories", which in context should be "storeys" as you're comparing the piled linen to floors of a building, but it actually serves as a neat bit of word play, as each sheet, or each love, tells a story. You're really good at bringing a reader into a poem the way a musician brings a listener into a song. x
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 2:34pm
thanks for your careful read Jack there are many voices in music - the instruments the vocal and the arrangement this fascinates
Re. SKIRTAN
Inside the cover of a book,
in the bottom of an empty cup.
Emptiness that hides hope...
Beautiful poetry
in the bottom of an empty cup.
Emptiness that hides hope...
Beautiful poetry
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 2:35pm
Re. SKIRTAN
Anonymous
13th Apr 2017 2:30pm
layers and layers, as the story is told and unfolds, like a domino effect.
I much enjoyed the unusual elements you presented here Whale, i think we've been so programmed reading the same types of poetry and imagery that when one sees something like this, takes a double take lol And you certainly got our attention..tap tap tap :)
I much enjoyed the unusual elements you presented here Whale, i think we've been so programmed reading the same types of poetry and imagery that when one sees something like this, takes a double take lol And you certainly got our attention..tap tap tap :)
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 2:38pm
I love this comment Rina - yes we as poets should struggle against consensus with the reader - it is not for us to be complicit or comfort them This can be good but it's not the only task of our words
Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 2:52pm
A very unique approach to love n lost...
Those stories could probably fill that ocean in tears alone...
Those stories could probably fill that ocean in tears alone...
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 4:26pm
Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 4:50pm
you are a master poet Whale thank you for letting me tap into your ocean..
love Brenda
love Brenda
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
14th Apr 2017 10:33am
Thanks Brenda really appreciate that and as for the ocean it's where we fish swim thirsty
Re. SKIRTAN
13th Apr 2017 6:37pm
Re: Re. SKIRTAN
14th Apr 2017 10:35am
Hey Josh - action not comment is the best (although either is great and having both as here is best of all!)
Re. SKIRTAN
14th Apr 2017 9:33pm
I'm late to comment Brother Whale-Apologies
The depth of "the missing" breaks hard against my heart...The stillness of it all is quite loud.
This piece moves very slow, the way that pain makes the hours seem hollow.
I am sorry that You know how to put this feeling into Ink-Tis a tattoo if ever there was.
That You realize potential for a stream to feed the ocean...well that means Good Sir Your ship will once again raise sail and glide.
Beautiful Sadness, Beautiful potential-You capture both!!!
The depth of "the missing" breaks hard against my heart...The stillness of it all is quite loud.
This piece moves very slow, the way that pain makes the hours seem hollow.
I am sorry that You know how to put this feeling into Ink-Tis a tattoo if ever there was.
That You realize potential for a stream to feed the ocean...well that means Good Sir Your ship will once again raise sail and glide.
Beautiful Sadness, Beautiful potential-You capture both!!!
1
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Re: Re. SKIRTAN
14th Apr 2017 10:32pm
Re. SKIRTAN
Anonymous
15th Apr 2017 8:35pm
Much to *perfect*
for my thoughts ...
I`ll just let them wander
toward that ocean ...
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