Poetic Enough?!

I loved them all more than anything ...yet i chased suicidal dreams.
dreaming , crashing , repenting , cursing , crying , wishing.
When all i needed was to be and to have been with them.

Now i find myself with sunken dreams ,dark memory's , happy moments that are not big enough to share and just empty air.

I forgave myself enough to walk away, to say when i cant fix , yet i just wish ...
Things was different , That i handled things better than i did.
maybe i didn't have to loose anything.

Yet i seemed evil , twisted , sly , unloving , selfish.
All the things perceived while stuck in my mind.

Balls are hard to show when no one wants to listen no more.
Balls are hard to show when weakness is your label.
Balls are hard to show when the word "strength" is thrown at you to make you feel better.

Undeserving, im human cant they see, they are human too.

I dont want a life without them but its one i must live.

ALONE IS ALL SHALL BE
NO NEED FOR COMMENTS
NO NEED FOR CLOSURE
NO NEED FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE
NOT HEAVEN
NOT HELL
NOT LIVING

I WILL JUST BE.
TO HAVE BEEN.
WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS LIFE MEANS!!!

POETIC ENOUGH.

justice? love? faith? you? him? her? hope?
 it all just sucks.