Total Fuck Up

You are the best thing that's ever happened to me...
You smile at me like you won 1st place..
You hug me like there is no place you rather be..
But I know soon you'll be sick of me..
I'm just a total fuck up..
A waste of space..
Always someone who can be replaced..
I get jealous..
I get upset..
Insecure..
Maybe even a little emotional..
I cry myself to sleep when I'm without you..
I hug your sweater and think of the good times I've had with you..
I shake and plead with myself..
As I fight my demons deep in my mind..
Don't need to pick up my knife..
Don't need to start again..
Don't need to see it all flow free..
As I go numb and watch myself bleed..
I'm a total fuck up...
You should run away and be free..
This is something you don't need to see..