Freeing One's Self

I’ve gone insane yet again—
crying in my mind for
the changes that I see,
I feel like I’m cracking at the seams,
ready to bust open into balls of knots,
I used to think I made
some what of a difference
in the Grand Scheme of things—
Yet all my energy channeled &
projected forth is manic &
uncontrollable again—
Losing touch with societies flow—
How are you seen in the eyes of others?
Am I lost in a land of wandering dreams?
Center & Ground—then
Bust through to a crystal clear reality—

Snapping at the drop of a hat.
Angry child who can’t clean his room.
Lost in a consumer stock-pile of commodities.
Books of knowledge and
Words of wisdom piled high
above my head,
Waiting to fall—
Can order be bred out
of this chaotic life?
The beast is moving inside,
and I fear losing my soul
to negative energy.

My heart is beating,
And a lonely soul wanders restless.
Crying for true love,
Yet love comes more through
tears of laughter,
and matters of the heart
stay out of the mind’s eye.
Constantly fading,
And freaking in a creepy way.
The taxi driver,
come to life, for
no knowledge of how
to be comfortable in
the company of women—
I love, and am greatly attracted to
a great many sexy goddesses,
Yet I fear seduction mind games,
And know not conversational guidelines.
Lost in a negative spiral,
I know not how to extract
These nine swords from my brain—
past cycles came back to
haunt my soul, and fill my sprint
with an evil vengeance,
Crying to be happy again,
seeing past actions in a new light,
yet again crying
for mistakes and regret—
“Everything happens for a reason,”
I try to tell myself
Everything happens for
a reason,
playing over & and over again,
through my brain, my mind,
my heart, spirit & soul—
Yet what is the Ultimate Answer?
Better yet, what is the Ultimate Question
or point to all this denial
of the heart’s true quest?

Lost, wandering in a lonely dream,
Knowing that truth can be found
in many places high & low,
even bits & pieces, among
the lies & the filth,
meant to evade,
out of fear,
and shady selfish reasons;
Gossip playing, skipping records,
beating a reputation, based
upon ultimate falsehoods—
If we “can’t handle the truth”—
It stems from the fact that
Our knowledge comes from
lies and propaganda,
based upon half truths,
taken out of context—
Stuck in vortexes & holes of seclusion,
Assuming great knowledge of others,
Though one speaks not directly,
Face to face,

Knowing others for who they really are—
Freeing the true aspect of self
Is the key to uniting the whole.