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Recovery
The wisdom of all eternity
Is gained acutely through a recovery
And affords true knowledge
In the arms of discovery
Is gained acutely through a recovery
And affords true knowledge
In the arms of discovery
Published 7th Mar 2017
| Edited 29th Apr 2017
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The author encourages honest critique.
Great little vignette, Mel. I would suggest removing "a" in L2, and subsequently the commas. Line breaks are natural pauses, therefore, unless you're really emphasizing a pause, are really unneeded in this verse.
In rereading, you could actually lose all the pronouns and it would retain, maybe even expand the meaning:
The wisdom of eternity
Gained acutely through recovery
Offers true knowledge
In the arms of discovery.
I love the wise content.
In rereading, you could actually lose all the pronouns and it would retain, maybe even expand the meaning:
The wisdom of eternity
Gained acutely through recovery
Offers true knowledge
In the arms of discovery.
I love the wise content.
7th Mar 2017 2:27pm
I agree...I submitted it for the 20 word challenge but much better without! Thanks again:)
7th Mar 2017 6:28pm
8th Mar 2017 10:46am
8th Mar 2017 1:01am
8th Mar 2017 10:47am
9th Mar 2017 1:52pm
9th Mar 2017 3:45pm
24th Jan 2023 10:45am
