BAR LIFE  (1990-91, San Diego, California)

 
wet slime  
stained feet  
grit dust  
spilt drinks  
vomited emotions  
spent money  
smoke filled  
air  
red light  
urined highlights  
of fall  
down  drunken  
memory floors  
city spitting  
exhausts disgusts  
headached games  
fallen spirits  
tasteless names  
circles spinning  
trails untamed  
trials untrod  
unreleasing  
peace decreasing  
tired eyes  
burning  
soul cries  
yearning  
freedom from  
the futile  
turning  
of every  
days too  
slow changing  
uncertain pages  
un defining  
loves lost  
whinings  
too afraid  
to speak  
its treacherous  
name  
for fear  
someday  
i just  
might find  
something more  
than this  
false hope  
alone  
ive so  
desperately  
clung onto  
especially with  
all this  
fleshing away  
ive increasingly  
become  
with so  
little left  
of me  
now  
it seems  
beyond this  
threadbare shell  
where even  
in my  
weakened mind  
my so  
called sanitys  
standing  
is kicking  
and demanding  
more loudly  
now to  
lose  
its final  
fragile share  
of me
as i have
always
known me
that is
up
till here
just
now