Reached Peace

Reached Peace

These demons clawed their way into my dreams, every day holding on wide awake, crushing my chest and i feel like i will stumble, i will fall flat on my face.
At one point, i covored every mirror in my home, my weaknesd would not allow me to see the insecure monster i had become.
I seen friends who smiled and waved and i couldnt understand how they couldnt see what i seen moments ago, woken up screaming out of my sleep.
No, you couldnt understand.
Because perception is reality, and yours will never be the same as mine.
I started working on myself, out of fear.
Out of self loathing.
One day out of hopelessness, so far down there was no where to go but up.
I remember screaming out your name.
Forcing that night in my head.
Find a way to escape, reminding myself to look for me asking for it.
Instead of allowing myself to stay the victim, i swallowed the pain like it was my favorite meal.
And then, i said i forgive this person.
For trying to destroy me, and failed.
I forgive his evil heart, because he has no idea what he had put a child through.
I forced the claws of his self hatred off of me.
I washed myself of guilt, at the river where i fought for my life.
Because of you, I am me.
I unconvered my mirrors, and found a new way.
Self love really does fix shit.
After giving you literally every sleeping and waking moment, every unreasonable fear, holding onto the hate you left inside of me.
I found my peace. Writing it down, letting it go.
Finding my damaged wings, but standing tall and proud. God gave me this burden, to carry, to talk about, to encourage others. To save them from becoming you, or ending their lives.
I found peace in the back of history class, waiting for sleep to find me but praying you would stay gone.