P T S D -My Enemy

Each and every day
I have people judging me
But they don't understand
Why I have P.T.S.D

I have sudden bursts of anger
But I’ll do you no harm
It suddenly envelops me
I don't mean to cause alarm

When I suffer flashbacks
They seem all too real
Past events come back to haunt me
Though my fears I will conceal

I suffer sleep disturbance
So I’m tired all the time
I fall asleep mid-conversation
I'm worn-out, is it a crime?

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a film
And I’m not really here
I feel like I am a puppet
My P.T.S.D the puppeteer

I startle very easily
So make sure I know you're there
If you evade my line of vision
Make sure I am aware

I have intrusive images
Of events from my past
They dominate my memory
I have to rest till they have passed

I have problems concentrating
When watching the TV
When you come to see me
I give you the third degree

Asking you what happened
On my favourite TV show
You say that you don't watch it
So I never get to know

I suffer from survivor guilt
Questioning life after death
I blame myself for not being there
When you were breathing your last breath

My nightmares are so real
I only hope you knew
The day you passed away
My heart it broke in two

Writing down these words
Has been cathartic beyond belief
My P.T.S.D was triggered
By the onset of my grief