Will i ever

Will i ever be what you want me to be
Will I ever be good enough for you
Will I ever be worth the fight
Will I ever be the first choice

Will I ever be loved by another
Will I ever be someone's soul mate
Will I ever be the one to my one and only
Will I ever have a one and only

Will I ever know what love feels like
Will I ever have true love
Does it even exist is the real question
is there proof such love exists

The answer is no to all of the questions
I will never be perfect
Nor good enough for you or anyone
I have never been worth fighting for

I will always be a side note
Never number one
No one can love me
I am just worthless to society

I will probably never be someone's soul mate
I already have met my one love
I loved hard and deep but never love returned
That's the story of my life

Will I ever know what love feels like
I know how it feels to love someone
To think about from the time of awakening
To the time of sleepy departure

I fell so hard into the eternal pit of love
Only to hit a solid ledge of hate
From everyone I cared about. I was the villain
To my love i was a pawn in a game

The one you love will hurt you the worst
But I guess I saw it coming
I knew that I was unlovable and worthless
But I chose to close my eyes And leap

I had been hurt before
Love doesn't exist I say at risk of pessimistism 
But the truth is that it doesn't
At least not for me yet I crave it so much