The father he was

As i fight hard holding my head up to the sky the tears slid down to my cheeks...
My palms got sweaty, heart was heavy as the thoughts of memories and questions floods me.
" Daddy, why didnt you want me", it came out as my eyes drop to the floor
" i needed a companion someone to hold me, take care of me when I'm sick" he said boldly, he continued " i was in love my darling, she was all i needed at that moment taking care of a child wasnt on the agenda"... His words hit hard like a lightning bolt my existence crumbled like the twin towers.
I was his little girl in need of protection from the monstrous world; he didnt care that his little girl was forced into adulthood having her childhood and innocence stripped from her grasp...
I am a woman now who only need an explanation...hope to be restored just a silver lining to make it better. Making mistakes that could've been avoided but the lacking of what to look for in others was expected for the one person i needed wasnt needing me.