This Hole

Trying to claw my way through
To the other side.
Somewhere where I can hide
Away from all this misery.
This internal withering and decay.

I think I remember
A day when it was simple
When flowers bloomed and smiles ran wide.
But now I keep myself locked inside.
This soul of mine which rots in this prison of skin.
Convulsing, shaking ~ trying to find a way free.

Follow orders - learn them, son.
And as we grow the doubt expands
until it has possessed every bit of our being.
Until our eyes are crying ~ are bleeding
Until our elbows ooze from the crawling,
Our knees scraped
As we tried desperately to escape.

Digging Deeper just to find
That everything is not alright.
Thought a pill would fix it?
Thought some white powder wrapped in purple satin would take the pain away?
Make the demons decay?
But the demons have built a home.
Laid their bricks and cast their stone.
The demons won't leave us alone
As we cry and wail
just to dig ourselves deeper.

All is lost in the rise of the new moon
All is lost even in the high noon.
No dark nor light can illuminate the right
path to take to freedom.
Where does freedom lie?
When all is found inside?
But inside is rotten.
Mold grows thick ~ pests taking hold.
Burrowing nests in the crevices of our soul.
As flies swarm and maggots chew
on the hopes and dreams that once were new.

So tell me now ~ how?
How do you find the path to freedom~
your internal truth?
When you are the only one stopping you?