PHAT

It was a rarity to see  
You as my sexy lover be
Upon a wanted poster that
Had shown a giant boner phat!
 
My brain agog in disbelief
I felt like shouting Where's the beef!
At just wherever it was at
You had your giant boner phat!
 
I ran out quickly from the post
To see just how much truth was boast  
And find how many there were that
Have had your giant boner phat!
 
I take that looking for the truth
Was more in keeping for a sleuth
And so I paid a woman flat
To find the fabled "wonder" phat!
 
But knowing you it wasn't long
(Or even short or thin your schlong)
The private dick had told me that
There was no truth to all the phat!
 
I blinked and thought of Photoshop
Of how you made a skillful crop
Your package looking like a bat
To hit a home run with your phat!
 
But now you'll find the joke's on you
You thought I didn't have a clue
The private dick is where it's at
She's got a fatter one than that!