I Wish

 

I wish that I could reverse the time
To go back to the happy days,
The days where nothing mattered…just the day
To feel the warm sun upon my skin as we made our way to the corner store
Traveled the dirt roads for school…what new adventure awaits us both?
Can we play Peter Pan just once more?
I’ll even be Captain Hook this time around…
Where time has gone, I will never know
From wishing upon a star to watching time pass on to the next chapters of our lives
It seems as though nothing has remained the same.
Like the child that I once was and still am to some extent…
I continue to look to you for guidance
My three African queens
I knew nothing without you…
Yet gained so much knowledge whenever I was around you
Strength, loyalty, determination and forgiveness
I was blessed…and nver even realized it.
Pride and jealously consumed me…
To watch you become the women that you are today and to see what I believed was my job to do
No longer seem to be a job that was required of me.
Knees buried into the floor beneath me as I pray and ask God to seek refuge inside the walls you all lay your heads in…and the clothes you cover yourselves with.
Tears of joy and thank you echo into the silent night as I watch from a far at the many blessings that has been bestowed upon you.
I am the one who is blessed to have ever known you.
I am the one who is now seeing what I had started to become…and what I no longer wish to be
Like an old scab my body is being renewed
Refreshed…the realization that God has no forgotten about me radiates from within me
It is warming the core of my soul…replacing that feeling of abandonment that the devil planted inside of my heart.
I can never turn back the hands of time and recreate the memories that now dances around my mind
I cannot recreate those days when we used to run around locking each other inside closets and scaring each other late into the night.
I wish that I could go back…to relive those moments every now and then
But it is not possible…
Yet still I hold these thoughts….these memories in my hand
I place them against my heart and dare for anyone to take them away
I would fight tooth and nail…and lay my life out on the line
Fall to the grown and offer myself over to death as these beautiful memories remained clinched in my hand…
I am not the person that I used to be.
My God is still working within me
The pain that I was feeling is no where to be seen…
I wish that we could go back to those days…
I wish….I wish…I wish.
I…wish….