deepundergroundpoetry.com
DREAMSCAPE : FLIES
Consummation
They rape the willing
Flesh and vomit
In ecstasy
W
My friends are flies
They mold, they shed
Devoured, eaten
Now teeth and claws
Wa
I drift into space
I watch them burn
Screeching
For me
Wak
The flies enter me
Blades shimmering
I kill them and laugh
They fear me
Wake
I hunger as they
Hungered
I chew and swallow
Their scales
Wake u
My heart stops beating
Venom inside
Expelled from me
Stains the floor
Wake up
I scream as tendrils
Escape from my pores
I see all colours
And all is grey
Wake
Up
Now
Don’t run
Don’t even move
I’ll find you
Anyway
Published 2nd Dec 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 744
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Dec 2016 6:52am
I will never look at flies the same again! Lol.
Brilliant write, paints a gross vivid picture and I love the wake up steps!
Brilliant write, paints a gross vivid picture and I love the wake up steps!
4th Dec 2016 7:22am
What a darkly stunning picture this paints. Cleverly written with vivid descriptions and interesting artwork...
Anonymous
6th Dec 2016 2:08am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
11th Dec 2016 5:42pm
I love the concept, the slow built with each verse, and the imagery is very original and unique, needless to say i really enjoyed the conscise form. I'm on the fence though with the little hints you left in between verses leading to 'wake up now' , as much as i firmly believe in artistic freedom of expression, i also equally believe in show and not tell.
Nevertheless, it's a very well written work.
Nevertheless, it's a very well written work.
11th Dec 2016 5:52pm
Thank you for the genuine comment Vee. I was at odds with it myself, but it felt right. It is something new I tried, because I actually wrote this based on a dream. Those cues symbolize the slow awakening process, where, at first, you don't understand that you're trying to wake up, all the way until it is screaming at you. I really do appreciate the constructive criticism though, it's refreshing.
~ UV
~ UV
18th Jan 2023 7:53am
