When at work at a supermarket deli counter

Crushed
seethe
don’t know the meaning
can’t accept, refuse, or escalate how I’m feeling

bloodied
embodied
tasteless
toothlessly talking about a sense of belonging

what right
what distance
encryption
don’t believe this

If I think too hard
I want to pull my arms
make them longer make them wrap more      entangle
kick uncomfortably against
pull my socks off with the sheets

step, a lot of stepping
on crumbs. Bits of food.
Things clumping to the soles of my feet.

I haven’t done it in so long
but forever playing in my words as I assimilate bleed to be feeling

I crumb deadskin
hate
bleat
become paper             in the shredder      
     oh no wait I needed that
                                         put it back together.

Hate you
feel you
circle you
how dare you
transcend yourselves
fuck yourselves

room for one now for two, three four five

climb down
I need to see lies on your face
be this with reason

clutter myself
together
with reason
season
christmas - I call happy bluff show your face
take off your masks, decorations, hats
fall into the snow
     land on gravel
and pretend to me you don’t bleed.