Kriah

Come to tea
sit with me
leave your glasses in the kitchen
go to fetch them
and I’ll watch your spine curve as you leave

Gold cord runs through your hands and again you can see
I wonder how much you saw
backtrack thoughts
and pray your glasses were in the kitchen still
through each digression

I never mean to leave, forget, misrepresent

take a seat
take a sip
tuck your handkerchief below your neck

I hate to ask but I have to know before we eat

ears burning
the fires of mine as I sleep
the feet that try not to scuff as they walk down the street 
I presume you know if I woke his parents

Behind ugly uniforms I see faces
hear words louder
open my mouth and speak into his
my guilt sliding down your neck,             fingers 
 or don't you feel it

You saw tears
and talking myself to sleep with empty dreams,
nervous intent

you’re probably more present than I
more terrified 
more rooted in my life

take it you deserve it 

I’m melodramatic, impractical, unsubstantial 

Angry,             bitter,             terrified
do you vouch for me

I collectively discover the difference between fear and fear of fear
how do you watch that

irrationally at the root
every hair torn, red and blotchy
where does anxiety go with nothing to grip

you’re frowning obviously 
in it you quantify
the days and nights
of amounted time
as I slipped through rude awakenings 
until I hoped not to wake
took busses for days

I hope you never see me drive

don’t mean to normalize 
the subject of your gaze
nor the duration
sensation

a child of success an adult of succinct emptiness
the hands that hurt the child you loved

a barrier was breached somewhere along the line
now temporality’s apart from me 


give me your hands
they shake but they’re soft
and there’s some kind of food on at least two of your fingers
so your soft shaky hands stick to mine

I ask about hate
people’s venom, my venom and the colour they turn when mixed
my blood, which is made of you and how it soothes at the source
whether you think I’m still lost, runaway, abandoned ship

Is it like watching Tottenham lose when I don’t get up
and with me do you lose the will

do the dead have will?

Eat.