deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Luckiest
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Grande]Solar illumination crept
into our final morning
You reach for your
medicine bag, open it
place a buckeye seed
in each of my palms –
For Luck, you say
folding your fingers
firmly over mine.
Your hair feather
rests against my neck
lead crystals reflecting
a rainbow'd wall of magic
All 88 constellations
set in your pupil'd
irises in after-light
We are weightless
under pelts, natural
as our own epidermis
burning wood cracks
branches somewhere
beyond us, its heat
preying eagerly
on a lingering chill
You read my eyes, ask
if I’m composing poetry
I say no, just thinking
how as a little girl
I always wanted
to be loved by a poet,
spend our aged years
in the composition
of beautiful verse
born of inspiration
between us
You smile, your palm
covers the entire side
of my face, no trace
of sorrow or jealousy
crosses your gaze,
only a deep respect
for courageous truth
You say you want
that for me as well
pray the Great Spirit
will favor my wish
I ask why – why
would you pray
that I be favored
by a poet when
in this moment
I'm the luckiest
being so loved
by a poem
A befallen silence
strips our Spirits
crystallized refractions
explode across the cabin
stars meet their season
billions of miles from origin
thermometers swell
their mercurial red
magnetising solidly
deeply infusing
one inside the other
~
First Place Winner "Romance" Competition
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9326/
into our final morning
You reach for your
medicine bag, open it
place a buckeye seed
in each of my palms –
For Luck, you say
folding your fingers
firmly over mine.
Your hair feather
rests against my neck
lead crystals reflecting
a rainbow'd wall of magic
All 88 constellations
set in your pupil'd
irises in after-light
We are weightless
under pelts, natural
as our own epidermis
burning wood cracks
branches somewhere
beyond us, its heat
preying eagerly
on a lingering chill
You read my eyes, ask
if I’m composing poetry
I say no, just thinking
how as a little girl
I always wanted
to be loved by a poet,
spend our aged years
in the composition
of beautiful verse
born of inspiration
between us
You smile, your palm
covers the entire side
of my face, no trace
of sorrow or jealousy
crosses your gaze,
only a deep respect
for courageous truth
You say you want
that for me as well
pray the Great Spirit
will favor my wish
I ask why – why
would you pray
that I be favored
by a poet when
in this moment
I'm the luckiest
being so loved
by a poem
A befallen silence
strips our Spirits
crystallized refractions
explode across the cabin
stars meet their season
billions of miles from origin
thermometers swell
their mercurial red
magnetising solidly
deeply infusing
one inside the other
~
First Place Winner "Romance" Competition
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9326/
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 25
reading list entries 1
comments 32
reads 1257
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. The Luckiest
27th Nov 2016 11:03pm
poets are alright, although it's generally
all about them, but to be loved
by a poem incarnate...
all about them, but to be loved
by a poem incarnate...
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
27th Nov 2016 11:06pm
I think maybe all poets are incubating poems incarnate...the gestation time is up to us...or sometimes the Universe.
Thank you, Paul.
Thank you, Paul.
Re. The Luckiest
27th Nov 2016 11:10pm
Re: Re. The Luckiest
27th Nov 2016 11:19pm
Re. The Luckiest
27th Nov 2016 11:25pm
This is so beautifully expressed Ahavati ... to be loved by a poem ... breathtaking
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
27th Nov 2016 11:51pm
Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 00:25am
And after the explosive ending all was
settled within the confines of each others
heart and soul.
settled within the confines of each others
heart and soul.
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 00:47am
Re. The Luckiest
Anonymous
28th Nov 2016 1:48am
This is absolutely beautiful. I felt it so deeply, every word.
My favorite of yours, Ahavati 💓
Heart racing, emotional ink.
My favorite of yours, Ahavati 💓
Heart racing, emotional ink.
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 2:11am
Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 3:49am
Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 4:49am
This is a charming little love story, a touch different from your usual style, with its short lines and therefore much faster pace. The way the characters crystallise into two people sharing deep truths about themselves in an isolated cabin is nothing short of mythical; you have a real knack for the mythic in poetry. Thank you for the read!
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:08pm
Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 6:04am
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:09pm
Re. The Luckiest
28th Nov 2016 8:10am
"We are weightless under pelts" - the gravity of this
"Heat preying eagerly on a lingering chill" and then the mercury
truly fine imagery - the need to hold on to a moment as it slips away and wanting it to be your forever dreamt of as a child
the maturity of resignation is no consolation but... to have loved at all is to be the luckiest of all
Very fine indeed my sister
"Heat preying eagerly on a lingering chill" and then the mercury
truly fine imagery - the need to hold on to a moment as it slips away and wanting it to be your forever dreamt of as a child
the maturity of resignation is no consolation but... to have loved at all is to be the luckiest of all
Very fine indeed my sister
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:09pm
Re. The Luckiest
Anonymous
28th Nov 2016 1:10pm
Just gonna leave this here:
“I believed that I wanted to be a poet, but deep down I just wanted to be a poem” – Jaime Gil de Bieda
Love at you and the other one :)
“I believed that I wanted to be a poet, but deep down I just wanted to be a poem” – Jaime Gil de Bieda
Love at you and the other one :)
1
Re. The Luckiest
Anonymous
28th Nov 2016 5:08pm
Ahavati.......I can see how Crim would be inspired by this masterpiece.......it touches deep within your readers mind and soul......stunning ink.....purple luv & hugs xo :)
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:06pm
Thank you, Purply One. Inspiring such a beautiful poem was humbling indeed. xo
Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 00:55am
Touching
In the part of me that remembers lying in the woods under a tree feeling the morning mist cling to my skin and making me wonder if I could be any closer to God than at that place and that moment in time
In the part of me that remembers lying in the woods under a tree feeling the morning mist cling to my skin and making me wonder if I could be any closer to God than at that place and that moment in time
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:03pm
I don't think you can, Plus. Except maybe on a mountaintop lying under a tree.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 7:15am
Tender, with perfect timing. A burbling brook pouring over stones, smoothed by continuous motion, would be less graceful. To call it beautiful or masterful would be to call it less than the living soul that your words have conjured before me. The second to last stanza in particular made me ache. The close is celestial. I bow to you bright lady.
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:04pm
Thank you, Daniel. I always enjoy and appreciate your depth of observation and feedback.
Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 6:45pm
You have a unique style of writing. The native American influence was interesting as well as being loved by a poem. The others have said the rest. Excellent writing.
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:06pm
Thank you, Autumn. My Cherokee blood burns bright through the centuries of its origin. I appreciate your comment.
Re. The Luckiest
29th Nov 2016 8:10pm
Re: Re. The Luckiest
Re. The Luckiest
30th Nov 2016 1:04am
I really enjoy you beautifully well written composition. Its a marvelous work of art. I loved it. I am beyond moved.
1
Re: Re. The Luckiest
30th Nov 2016 6:07pm